Princess Julie
Welcome to my blog. I'm Julie, a 35 year old wife and stay-at-home mom who rarely stays home. I am married to the best husband (McDaddy) a girl could ask for and I have two of the cutest little boys on the planet, Stevie (age 6) and Alex (age 3).
If you've come here looking for a daily dose of crazy, you've come to the right place.
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Credits
Short And Sweet
Short and Sweet
Three little words
At a time.
It is late
I am tired
Boys are asleep.
Flights were uneventful
Manchester, Atlanta, Charleston
Boys well behaved.
Flowers on porch
Apparently lacked water.
Most have died.
Watered and prayed
And prayed again
Hoping for resurrection.
One more month
Deployment almost over
Can’t hardly wait.
Saturday is Julyfourth
Watch the parade
Eat too much.
Appreciate the sacrifice
Of our troops
Miss My McDaddy
Time for bed
I am tired.
That is all.
Thursday Thirteen – Can “U” Do It?
Wow.
Obviously, when the idea of Thursday Thirteen – The Alphabet edition popped into my head 20 some odd weeks ago, I gave little thought to what might happen when it was time for me to come up with thirteen words that begin with the letter U.
Because seriously?
Have you ever thought about “U” words?
I will do the best I can to make it to the end, but I make no promises.
Because just between U and me, I’m not sure I can pull this one out.
1. UMBILICAL CORD – Not a lot to say about the umbilical cord except that when our boys were born we collected and banked their cord blood. It was very simple to do and is hopefully something that we will never, ever need. Their blood is currently stored at a blood bank in Florida. We use CryoCell. If you are in the market for a cord-blood company, you should totally consider CryoCell and you should most definitely let them know that I sent you because we can save a year’s worth of storage fees. Just sayin’.
2. UMBRELLA – I purchased a new umbrella while we were in Cuba. I can’t recall ever purchasing another umbrella in my life. This umbrella had bright polka dots and I was in Cuba. I knew that every time I popped the thing up, I would remember our trip to see Guantanamo Bay to visit my sweet McDaddy during the L-O-N-G-E-S-T six months evah. I googlized an image for Totes & Umbrella & Polka Dot but did not find my particular umbrella. What I did find was this fabulous umbrella at haroldfeinsteinstore [dot] com. Have I mentioned that the Gerber daisy is my favorite flower and it is pink? This umbrella would make me happy, even on a rainy, dreary day.
3. UNCLE – My uncle Andy Wade in Rhode Island is a loyal blog reader (hi Wade!) and McDaddy’s uncle Bill (which makes him my uncle-in-law) is also a loyal blog reader (Hi Bill!)
4. UNDERTAKER – Had to include this one just because of the post I wrote last week, What I Learned At The Funeral Home. I had a neat experience with my friend who is an undertaker. I have made him promise to suck out some ofmy muffin top if I ever happen across his embalming table when my time on earth is done. Oh, and could someone remind him to pleasenotwiremymouthshutmkaythankyouverymuch!
5. UNITED STATES – The best country in the whole, wide world. I can’t imagine living anywhere other than the US of A.
6. UP – Disney Pixar’s newest goldminemovie. Up is a really cute movie, however there are some really weird, non-kid scenes. I think this little guy Mr. Fredricksen and his friend, Russell are adorable.
7. UNION – Me and Him? A perfect union if you ask me. (Although I cannot speak for him! and usually don’t give him a chance to speak for himself because I am rambling all the way to nowhere.) Oh sweet Moses. Look at that cutie patootie. I miss him so much!
8. ULCER – I am a worrier from way back. Its a miracle that I don’t have a blue million of these.
9. UGLY – This thing puts the UG in Ugly. I would pee down my leg if one of the ugly things touched me. We saw lots and lots of them on Guantanamo Bay. Really God, why?
10. UNIFORM – This is McDaddy returning from the Dominican Republic last year. Uniform + McDaddy = HOT
11. UTENSIL – It is laughable that I am using the word Utensil in my Thursday Thirteen because cooking is not my forte. I do make pancakes about twice a week though and I use one of these.
So, here’s a question for you, my loyal blog fans. I call this one thing, and McDaddy calls it another. What do you call this thing? I have more than my fair share of Pampered Chef stuff because the girls I run with? They love to cook and they love to party. Cook + party = Pampered Chef. If I were any kind of cook at all, I would certainly be a pampered chef.
12. UNLIKELY – Um, It is unlikely that I will ever have one of these, however, you must understand that I will never stop dreaming and blogging about it. Perhaps you underestimate the power of the blog. After test driving the thing, I have an even bigger urge to go out and buy one right this very minute, because I would look fabulous in it have one. I keep hoping the fine folks at Saturn will drive up and unload one of the suckers at the McResdence. I keep thinking that talking about it umpteenhundred times here at the blog will eventually lead someone from Saturnville right here to Inmates and they’ll be so moved by my unconditional and unquestionable love that they will finally just give me one. Instead, my pleas seem to go unheard. At the very least, they should pony up some coin for all of the free advertisting they get here. I am pretty sure that if they knew how cool I was, they would vote unamously to present me with one because it would be the ultimate gift for a princess who loves the heck out of this little car.
13. ULTRASOUND – Truly one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. With both of my boys, I had two non-stress tests each week due to pre-eclampsia, gestational diabetes and a host of other potential problems. Each and every time I was hooked up to that machine, I watched in amazement as my sweet babies floated in my womb. It was one of the best things about being pregnant.
And that as they say. Is that.
Enjoy your day, folks!
It’s A Jungle Out There
If you happened to be peeking in the windows at From Inmates To Playdates last night say around eleven o’clock, you might have snuck a peek at this week’s You Capture post and this week’s Thursday Thirteen post.
It seems I was on a slow descent into madness and released both posts just before midnight thinking I was on top of my game.
Then, as I crawled into bed, it dawned on me that it was only Tuesday.
Which means I was way ahead of the game.
Which should have been fine.
But, it was not.
Because my OCD tendencies would not allow for my Thursday Thirteen and You Capture posts to be released a day early. So, I scrambled to get the laptop up and running again so that I could pull the posts from the blogosphere.
So, with all of that being said, you should know that there is madness behind the crazy here at Inmates. There is so much that goes on behind the scenes. I should call this joint A Daily Dose of Crazy. And then some.
Anywho. Moving right along to this week’s You Capture post.
This week’s YOU CAPTURE challenge is Photographer’s Choice.
Oh Internets. I love options.
The possibilities? They are endless my friends.
I wasn’t sure if I should post a pile of random pictures or stick with some sort of theme.
So, I shot. And captured.
And then I ran across these guys and decided I’d let them do the talking for me…..
“No, as a matter of fact I do not like to have my picture taken? Who takes pictures of a camel anyway? Why the smirk? Read that stupid camel ride sign down there. It will tell you all you need to know about the smirk. These people are making a killin’ off of me.”
”250 lbs. Are you freakin’ kiddin’ me?” “Go visit the stinkin giraffe or that stupid ostrich and stay off my tired, aching back!”
“Buzz off, homie. Can’t a guy do his business without the whole world watching?”
“Which one of these pathetic suckers do I want to scare the soup out of? Hum… let me see…. “
“Yo, what’s up?
Have you seen my Crest White Strips?”
“No?”
“Well then do you happen to have a tic tac?”
“Hey you!”
“Helloooo in there”
“Maybe I need to come in a little closer”
“Yes, you! Right there on the end”
“Are you listening to me?”
“Um, I’m looking for a few cute guys. I’ve looked and looked, but so far… I’ve found nothing. I walk around this joint, I strut my stuff, I even stoop to their level sometimes, but really I’d just love to have some company up here. It’s lonely at the top. If you see a tall, dark and handsome giraffe, can you send him my way? Please.”
“Until then, I’ll try to keep my chin up.”
Oh, and the stench you smell in that pretty little Mercedes? “
“Probably from the ostrich. But you didn’t hear that from me!”
“Yessiree, without a shadow of a doubt… my shadow is bigger than your shadow!”
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It’s a Jungle out there.
It pays to have your camera ready.
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This post is linked to Beth’s You Capture Carnival over at I Should Be Folding Laundry.
Next Week’s Challenge: Independence Day and Food
With This Ring, I Thee Wed
If you were my wedding ring…..
You’d smile knowing that you are my favorite material possession.
You’d be thinking to yourself… I can’t believe I made THE BLOG.
You would have been sad to be separated from me for 8 days when you had to be sized down due to my recent weight loss efforts.
You would wish that I’d be easier on you so that you wouldn’t have to have your prong fixed again.
You’d wonder why I didn’t clean you more often.
You would know that you are special to me because McDaddy presented you on my wedding day and I have hardly had you off of my hand except for cleaning and repairs.
You would frown when I talked of upgrading (upsizing) the engagement diamond [no real worries... I am really attached to you]
You would grin when people mentioned how much they loved you.
You would stick your tongue out at all of the other rings that must sit in the jewelry box and wait their turn to be worn on my right hand.
You’d hate getting caught on things now that you have new, sharp prongs.
You would know how excited I was the day that McDaddy placed you on my finger.
You would wonder why sometimes your metal and my skin caus a reaction.
You would know that I *triple heart* you very much.
A Little Bloggy Business
You may have noticed that I have an advertisement and bloggy button on my right side bar for Online Poster Printing. I happen to be a sponsored blogger with Online Poster Printing which means they advertise my blog and I advertise for their site. That also means that they generously host give aways on my blog and offer extra perks to me as the blogger.
They recently gave me a free 16X20 poster print of this picture. It is beautiful and will look perfect hanging in our newly remodeled basement. (Even if it takes me seven years to strip the wallpaper.)
And if you think this little picture is cute, you should totally see it as a poster.
I absolutely love it!
And now, they are offering me 500 free business cards to promote my blog. I appreciate the kind folks at uprinting.com for including me in their blog sponsorship program and for the free bloggy business cards.
Why UPrinting.com isn’t your average printing company:
Blog Sponsorships:
If you are looking to find a sponsor for your blog, UPrinting.com is definitely interested. We offer giveaways, advertising and more for qualified bloggers.
Non-Profit Sponsorships:
The U-Community Program sponsors hundreds of non-profits and education to improve our local communities.
Social Justice Projects:
The UPrinting Kiva account promotes small business growth in developing countries.
Green Printing:
UPrinting supports a sustainable future by recycling, using non-toxic inks, and offering eco-friendly recycled paper stocks for business cards and postcard printing.
Now, head over to Online Poster Printing and check it out for yourself.
A List Of Things
As you may recall, last week, I totally surprised the audience with a whole list of things that I learned while watching my mortician friend embalm a “client.”
This list of things will be nothing like that list of things.
You Are Welcome.
Not that I wouldn’t love to talk more about the embalming because seriously, it was a learning experience I will never forget as well as the chance to offer up some really good blog fodder mark another thing off of my ‘things I want to do someday’ list. I know all of you are just dying to see that list. (Ha! I kill myself with sarcasm!)
Maybe someday I’ll publish it.
But not today.
Because today is What I Learned This Week.
Not Things I Want To Do Someday.
So.
Let’s see.
1. My pajama pants were made in Cambodia.
Cambodia are you kidding me? Thousands of people here in the Great United States are unemployed and we go to Cambodia to find folks to sew together pajama pants for Sam Walton to sell in his Mart of Walls? Cambodia? What’s in Cambodia anyway?
2. Tom-Tom has his own Nascar. (McDaddy, did you know that your GPS guy had a Nascar? Nah, I didn’t think so.)
3. The iPhone has so many perks and quirks, I might never figure them all out.
4. The Toobz game on the iPhone is a great way to waste pass the time.
5. When your DELL laptop goes on hiatus and dies, it might be a good idea to check out the power cord for ‘rips’ instead of calling on the folks at your church to start the prayer chain.
Oh, calm down.
I kid.
6. The Arbonne Sea Salt Scrub can do wonders for your dry, cracked, nasty, feet.
7. The Airport Tram in the Detroit Airport is a wonderful way to kill an hour if you have a six-year-old and a three-year-old.
8. The Toobz game on the iPhone may cause your What I Learned This Week post to be shortened because, hello? There is a high score to beat.
That’s all.
My bed iPhone is calling.
Oh, before I forget. If you are looking to learn some more stuff from some more people, stop by Musings Of A Housewife today. The list of stuff may surprise you, especially if someone watched an embalming this week.
Searching For Stuff
I actually typed this post several weeks ago and filed it away for a rainy day.
Or in this case, for a day when my laptop decided to lay down and die.
Did you hear me?
I said the words. Laptop. Lay down. And die.
In the same sentence.
I am sitting here ready to burst out into uncontrollable sobs at sister-in-law’s desktop hammering out a prelude to this post and somehow I feel like the mere mention of my laptop woes may somehow bring the thing back to life.
I’ve done all I know to do.
Which includes unscrewing all of the little hatches on the back of the laptop blowing the dust out and replacing them. (That sentence alone is probably making McDaddy shudder!)
And while I did feel like some sort of techno genius, I’m sad to say. Still no laptop.
So, I wait with eager anticipation for an e-mail from McDaddy that I thankfully WILL be able to access from my iPhone that will surely include instructions about what to do to make it all better. Because that’s what McDaddy does.
He fixes things.
Until then though, I’ll release this post out into the blogosphere from SIL’s desktop and hope like heck that McDaddy can give me something that will aid in my fixing this thing. Hey McDaddy! If you’re out there, give me a call.
Pretty please.
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I am constantly amazed at the things that people type in the search window at Google to land there at front door here at Inmates. It happens to be one of my favorite things about this little blog.
It’s been quite some time since I’ve done one of these posts, but some of these are just too good to pass up. I sometimes laugh out loud (I am not a fan of the LOL thing by the way!) as I read them in my feedjit window.
Let’s start with this one from West Covina, California….
West Covina, California arrived from google.com by searching for neighbor keeps insisting on a playdate after i’ve already said no.
- Hello West Covnina. Stick to YOUR guns. If the neighbor child is not your first choice of a playmate for your sweet angel, then employ whatever methods necessary to put the smack down on their continual requests.
Baltimore, Maryland arrived from google.com by searching for funeral home dead body what happen.
- What’s up? Baltimore. A month ago, I could not have answered that question. However. My mortician friend invited me to watch an embalming and I can tell you with certainty that you probably do not want to know. If you are a freak curious person like me, you can check it out right here at Inmates in a post titled What I Learned At The Funeral Home. That should tell you all you need to know.
Kingsland, Georgia arrived from google.com by searching for unleashing your wife’s freak.
- Kingsland, you are making me blush. I’m not sure why you are attempting you unleash your wife’s freak, but might I just say, Rock on! I hope that something you read here at Inmates gave you some great ideas for achieving your tasks. (I’m sure my sweet McDaddy is smiling just thinking of the possibilities!)
Navarre, Florida arrived from google.com by searching for FASHION FOR STAY AT HOME MOM AGE 35.
- Greetings Navarre. I would love to be able to say that you’ve come to the right place for fashion tips. However, I keep it real around here. For that reason, I must warn you that my fashion expertise is limited to Tommy Hilfiger t-shirts and Yoga pants. If that’s what your in the market for, then I’m your gal. If not, then you might want to visit Big Mama’s place. She is a fashion guru and could probably give you some fantastic fashion advice.
Gilbert, Arizona arrived from google.com by searching for paper gown at the gynecologist.
- Hello Gilbert, Arizona. I am chuckling because I clearly remember the post I wrote about my experience at the gyno. I’m still not real clear about why you’d be searching for the words paper and gown and at the gynecologist, but then again, why do any of us search for what we do when we’re going down Google Ave? (I do KNOW that I use way too many run-on sentences.) Hopefully, you got your questions answered. Please feel free to stop back at anytime.
Brooklyn, New York arrived from google.com by searching for milia self extraction successful.
- Hi! Brooklyn. What’s up? In the past few weeks, another milia sucker has popped up. I was pretty sure I would attempt to extract the thing myself but the more I’ve thought about it, the more hesitant I am to use a sharp extraction tool on my face. I’m thinking that I should probably just call the dermotologist. However, if you are gung-ho on the self-extraction, here’s the tool you will need. Be sure to stop back by and let me know how that goes for you, would ya?
Stony Brook, New York arrived from google.com by searching for what was the word that paula stumbled on in the top 11 2009.
- Hello my new American Idol friend in Stony Brook, New York. What are you trying to go clog up my friend, Google? We all know that Paula makes up words and stumbles over words. Its one of the reasons I watch AI. If my memory serves me correctly though the word you are referring to is authenticity.
Montclair, New Jersey arrived from google.com by searching for Why do flowers smell like a funeral?
- Howdy Montclair! Is it just me or do I have more than my fair share of funeral related posts? Flowers often remind me of a funeral home too, and in my humble opinion the funeral home stinks. For that reason, I have left specific instructions for McDaddy to purchase the a solid mahogany casket haul my hind-end out the road to our lovely little church so that I can be displayed in all of my dead glory instead of the stinky funeral home when my time here on earth is done. And no, that is not a lot to ask when you’re speaking of one’s last wishes.
Ayr, South Ayrshire arrived from google.co.uk by searching for acrylic nails breastfeeding.
- Whoa. South Ayrshire. You got me there. Not sure I’ve ever included those three words together in a post but I guess anything is possible. I hope your nails look fabulous and that your having a successful run at breastfeeding. It can be a little tough at first, so hang in there. You should know, however, that the girls will NEVER be the same.
Gainesville, Texas arrived from google.com by searching for suddenlink phone service always down.
- Gainesville, Texas! Welcome to Inmates. Before I get started on this rant little tale, let me go grab a picture to show you.
Those happen to be two Suddenlink trucks and that also happens to be my driveway. You can’t tell it from the picture, but this is two of four trucks that paid me a visit one Spring day in an attempt to fix my internet connection.
I spent precious hours of my life that I can NEVER get back dealing with Suddenlink’s internet mess. The Suddenlink man in my area probably spent more time at my house than he did his own, HOWEVER, a sweet VP named Mr. A stumbled across my blog, read about my dramadifficulties and got his Suddenlink peeps on the stick. It took some time but eventually they were able to provide reliable service at the McResidence. I will not agree with them that the service is faster than Verizon because honestly, it seems slower than ever before in the history of our internet service, BUT, it is reliable and dependable. Once McDaddy gets back, I plan to have a meeting of the minds to determine if Suddenlink is indeed the best solution for our internet needs.
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See, I told you that would be fun.
Now, I’m off to perform another surgery on my poor, pitiful DELL laptop.
Wish me luck!
A Little Cove In A Big World
He makes springs pour water into the ravines; it flows between the mountains.
Psalm 104:10
Let’s Talk About Me
I don’t normally post on Saturdays, but its late, the kids are asleep and I am wide awake. I was visiting some bloggy friends and found this meme over at Heather’s place. It looked like fun, so I thought I’d play along.
I am.. very lonely without my sweet hubby.
I want… this 6-month deployment to be OVER.
I have… 2 very different, but very sweet boys.
I wish… I knew more about html code.
I know… some sign language.
I hate… olives.
I fear… lots of things, but I try to place my trust in God.
I hear… a clock on the wall ticking.
I crave… our family being together again.
I search… for things I misplace. Most recently it was a tracking number from Fed Ex.
I always… wanted to ride in one of them fancy hely-copters (Sorry, my boys quote from the movie CARS daily!)
I usually… talk WAY! TOO! MUCH!
I am not… your average gal as was proven recently with this post.
I miss… my friend Jon. (And of course McDaddy!)
I love… God.
I never… can keep the little green bench in our room cleared off.
I rarely… do anything without making a list.
I cry… at the drop of a hat these days.
I lose… my patience daily. (It’s no wonder I take a blood pressure pill)
I should… get to bed earlier every night.
I worry… a lot less than I used to. (Thank you, Jesus!)
I dream… about having a Saturn Sky.
I was… 25 pounds heavier this time last year.
I need… to lose 25 more.
I can… waste ridiculous amounts of time on the computer.
There you have it.
All about me!
Enjoy your weekend.
To The Grumpy Old Man At The Manchester Airport
To: The Grumpy Old Man At The Manchester Airport
From: A Sweet Gal From West Virginia
Date: Today
Re: Your Stupid “For Sky Cap Use Only” Cart
Dear Grumpy Old Man:
You may or may not remember me.
I will probably never forget you.
On Saturday, June 20, 2009, I arrived on a plane at the Manchester Airport five hours late with my two little boys, three backpacks and two huge suitcases.
I attempted to use your cart to haul our suitcases, our backpacks and my two sleepy, grumpy kids just outside the door to wait on my sister-in-law to pick us up. I had every intention of returning your cart to the middle of the floor as soon as I unloaded it.
You approached me out of nowhere just as I got everything loaded onto your beloved cart and informed me that I was not allowed to use the cart unless I was willing to pay you to roll the cart 19 inches out the door.
It was 3:34 am.
Are you friggin’ kidding me?
I was by myself with two boys, three backpacks and two big, honkin’ suitcases containing everything but the kitchen sink. Do you think I could juggle those with two sleepy boys hanging off of me?
It was 3:34am for pete’s sake.
There was not another soul within a forty- mile radius who needed or wanted to use your stupid cart.
Just me, my two boys, our three back-packs and two ginormous suitcases.
Because after all, did I mention it WAS 3:34 am?
Oh, and can I just say that you sounded like a putz when you read the side of the cart to me. I could plainly see the words, ”For Sky-Cap Use Only.” For some reason, I just assumed that surely to goodness even a grumpy, old man would have compassion for a mommy travelling with her two boys and allow the precious sky-cap cart out of his site for five minutes.
Sadly, I was mistaken.
SHAME. ON. YOU!
You need to be nicer or you need to retire.
Oh, and if by some chance you stumble onto ‘From Inmates To Playdates’ today, please know that I think you could seriously use an anti-grump pill.
Love,
The gal from WV who is still thinking about your grumpy disposition and your stupid cart.
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