What Are You Looking For?

From time to time I click on that ‘Live Traffic Feed’ thingie down there in my left side-bar. That little box is full of useful information, including the topic of interest that was typed into the search engine that led some of you right here to ‘From Inmates To Playdates’.  It always amuses me and there are times that I laugh out loud (I hate the whole LOL, by the way) at the things that people search for.

So, without further ado, I’d like to send a shout out to those of you who have happened by Inmates thanks to our friends at Google.

1. Springfield, Missouri arrived from google.com on “From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for Prisoners watch young and the restless.

• Howdy, Springfield. I’m sure glad you’ve stopped by. I’m not so sure about prisoners watching The Young & The Restless because they have killed off my beloved Don Diamonte. For that reason, I myself, a loyal friend of Y&R for over half my life have not watched their show for at least a month. I miss Brad and respectfully request that the powers-that-be bring him back. Pronto. But rock on Springfield! I’d watch Y&R for sure if I was in prison.

2.Saint Louis, Missouri arrived from google.com on “Jeep : From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for jeep underware.

• Hi St. Louis. Do me a favor, would ya? Please keep the whole Jeep Underwear thing to yourself. If McDaddy catches wind that somebody has jeep underwear, he’ll expect my hind-end plastered in the JEEP logo every! single! day!  Shhhh!! It will be our little secret. Welcome though. I do hope you’ll come back.

3.  Centerburg, Ohio arrived from google.com on “Wow! That’s weird. : From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for who sang at women of faith conference nationwide arena 2008.

• What’s Up? Centerburg! – While I can’t remember everyone who  sang at the 2008 WOF conference, I know for a fact I wasn’t one of them.  If my memory serves me correctly [which is doubtful], I believe it was Sandi Patty, Nicole C. Mullen and Natalie Grant. They were all fabulous by the way.

4. Coopersburg, Pennsylvania arrived from google.com on “From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for 3 year old crying and not sharing when having home playdates.

• Welcome Coopersburg! Let me start by saying that any 3 year old who refuses to share has not been rasied properly. It is evident that you failed somewhere along the line to teach your little angel about the importance of sharing and taking turns. Maybe you should visit Dr. Phil dot com to or Nanny 911 for some assistance on the matter. I am thrilled that you stopped by though. I’m just sorry that I am unable to help you because my kids typically behave perfectly and would gladly give up their toys to other children without being asked. 

Did I mention that I crack myself up sometimes?

5. Nora Springs, Iowa arrived from google.com on “Saturn Sky : From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for saturn sky personalized plate.

• Nora Springs, Iowa, I am so happy you stopped by. Do you have a BFF because if you do, you should totally ditch them and let me be your BFF. That way, I could drive your Saturn Sky with your fancy personalized plate sometimes and I’d love you forever and do anything you asked. I hope you are enjoying your Saturn Sky. I’m guessing you are not a stay-at-home-mom with two kids and a minivan. But I could be totally wrong.

6. United States arrived from google.com on “Unleashing My Inner Latin Freak : From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for freaky latin mom.

• United States, you have come to the right place. Welcome to my humble abode. I put the FREAK in freaky around here. Only I’m not Latin. But I’m a freak just the same. You can ask McDaddy. He loves it when I get my freak on. *BIG SLY SMILE*

7.  Sydney, New South Wales arrived from google.com.au on “Thursday Thirteen – 13 Things That Tick Me Off : From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for things that tick me off with church.

• Hi Sydney. I don’t know how ya’ll do things in Australia, but we here in America are happy to serve God in peace and harmony. Really, there should not be things that tick you off with church and if there are, then maybe you should find a new one. Seriously, the right church for you is out there somewhere. Good luck finding it. Peace out!

[Relax people, this is all in fun!]

8. Denver, Colorado arrived from google.com on “From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for cause “fever blisters” “all over” back sleeping bed sheets.

• Okay Denver, this should be fun. Let’s see, “cause fever blisters” – probably some form of herpes. Sad, but true. Next, “all over” back sleeping bed sheets… if your sleeping on bed sheets that are giving you fever blisters, it is probably high time you change your bed sheets. Or, at the very least wash them. And, might I add the whole fever-blister-all-over-back-sleeping-bed-sheets thing is kind of , well, gross. Just Sayin’.

9.  Johannesburg, Gauteng arrived from google.co.za on “Over My Dead Body : From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for WHAT WILL HAPPENED ABOUT MY DEAD BODY IN A CASKET.

• Johannesburg, Gauteng, I’m so glad you’re here. Let me just start by saying that your dead body in a casket will probably be displayed in all its glory for all of your friends and family to see. I would suggest the best casket that money can buy. Something like Solid mahogany. Not that cheap pressed wood. That way you’ll be sure to look good at the funeral home. Who knows what will happen after they close you up. I, for one wish to be buried in a crypt so I can be warm in the winter and cool in the summer. The decay process is bound to happen I suppose, but by then I’ll be sitting on the emerald fountain eating a Swiss Cake Roll and couldn’t care less what is happening to this body of mine.

10. Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island arrived from google.ca on “Over My Dead Body : From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for looking good in my casket.

• Prince Edward, thanks for stopping by. From the looks of things, it seems obvious that I am not the only one thinking about my death and planning my funeral. I say do what you can now to ensure tht you will look your very best when the day comes. Rock on Edward! and I do hope you’ll come back.

11. Sydney, New South Wales arrived from google.com.au on “Thursday Thirteen – 13 Things That Tick Me Off : From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for list of things that tick me off.

• Who knew I’d have so many international visitors? Hey Sydney! Thanks for stopping by. While I have compiled a list of things that tick me off, I find it amusing that you actually searched for a list of things that tick you off. Seriously, if the things that tick you off don’t come rolling off of your fingertips, I don’t think you should be intentionally searching for things. Leave well enough alone and enjoy life. Oh, and I hope that answer didn’t tick you off.

12. Tyler, Texas arrived from google.com on “From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for SUDDENLINK INTERN-ET TROUBLE SHOOT.

• Oh, Tyler, Texas, it must be true what they say. Misery does indeed love company. I am so sorry to hear about your recent trouble with Suddenlink. You can read about my Suddenlink woes here, here, here and again here. And, if that’s not enough to persuade you, go here, here, and hereto read about it one last time. Even though their service is not as reliable or dependable as I need it to be, their customer service rocks and for that reason, I have stuck around for the past month. Wow! By the looks of it, I should certainly have a Suddenlink tag. The only thing I could suggest is to unook the modem and the router, wait 30 seconds and hook it all back up. That usually works for me the first three times I do it.

13. Saint Louis, Missouri arrived from blogsearch.google.com on “From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for suddenlink cebridge.

• There is a really good chance that Saint Louis, Missouri translates into my new BFF at Suddenlink, Mr. A. If this is Mr. A then welcome to my blog, again! I hope you are doing everything in your power to keep my internet up and running. Seriously, people depend on me here at Inmates to deliver a daily dose of crazy.  If I don’t have internet service, the daily dose of crazy doesn’t get delivered and I lose a piece of my sanity everytime I have to make a call to customer service. So, yes, Saint Louis, do sit a spell and take a look around. I hope you find everything to your liking. What I would like is reliable internet service. THANKYOUVERYMUCH!

14. Charleston, South Carolina arrived from google.com on “News. Or Just A Daily Dose Of Crazy : From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for daily dose of crazy.

• Charleston, SC – howdy to you! You have come to the right place. Doses of crazy are plentiful round these parts. Take what you need and leave the rest for the next sap. Thanks for stopping by! 

Now, wasn’t that loads of fun!

Many thanks to my friends at GOOGLE for sending folks my way. And, you might want to be careful what you search for. You never know when you might end up on a blog. 

Have a lovely day, no matter how you got here! 

——

Oh, and please visit this post to enter a give-away for a 16×20 Online Poster Print. I will randomly select a winner on Saturday just before midnight. Good Luck!!!!

Tagged as: Church, Jeep, McDaddy, my funeral, Quirks, The Saturn Sky