From Inmates to Playdates

Some weeks I find myself frantically writing my “What I Learned This Week” post at the last possible minute.

Sort of like what I did in college a time or two.

Oh, Economics I hated you so!!!

Other weeks, (like this one) my entire “What I Learned This Week” unfolds in one day allowing me ample time to think, write, tweak and repeat.

Such was the case on Wednesday of last week.

You can learn a lot from me if you just stick around long enough.

1. Rubbermaid industrial trash-cans are equipped with a lock-the-lid-handle for a reason. Neglecting to use the lock-the-lid-handle could result in having to pick up trash that is turned over and strewn about all over the driveway.

*It’s important to note that if you and I were casually talking about this incident, I would have totally said the trash was ‘strung’ out all over the driveway because that’s how I roll. I would never use the word strewn in general conversation. 

Just sayin’

2. Having to pick up trash that has been “strung out all over the friggin’ driveway” is likely to have you contemplating the purchase of a BB gun.

3. When you wait until the middle of the summer to purchase a bathing suit, there is a really good chance they will not  have the one you want in your size. The good news is that IF THEY DO HAVE IT IN YOUR SIZE it will probably be 50% off.

4. All but one Most bathing suits within a 40 mile radius of my house are halter-top style suits. While the halter-top style suit may look fabulous hanging on the rack, the ‘down to the belly button neck line” will most likely not provide ample coverage for ‘the girls’

5. When you arrive home after an hour long love fest at the newly-remodled Mart of Walls shopping for a bathing suit to discover the only key you have is the one to your van, it is imperative that you immediately go into your house through the basement door inside of the garage and unlock the front door ASSOONASYOUGETHOME. If you decide to water flowers and pull weeds first, your three-year-old couldlock the basement door leading into your home which will of course mean that both of you are locked out of the McResidence.

6. When you discover that you are locked out of your home, your first instinct SHOULD be to check all the windows and doors to see if by some chance or some miracle from God you have left one unlocked or open. Your first instinct should NOT be e-mailing your husband who is currently deployed in another country to ask if he has any suggestions.

7. Because when he immediately calls you on your cell phone and suggests that perhaps you should check all the windows and doors because just maybe you left one of them unlocked and then you reply that of course none of the windows or doors are unlocked because you are a responsible adult, you will feel like an idiot when you discover that yes, yes indeed, your sliding glass door is unlocked and probably has been that way the whole time you were on vacation.

8. That whole scenario will likely have you thanking God for his provision of sending you a husband who is not only hot, but a genius as well.

9. Leaving the sun-roof of your grocery getter van open in 85 degree temperatures will seem like a fabulous idea until you return to your vehicle after having lunch and burn your right thigh as your slide into your leather seat.

10. Having a day like this allows your “What I Learned This Week” post to write itself.

Oh, I love a nice, round list.

AND ONE MORE THING BEFORE I GO!

Yesterday, was a record setting day here at Inmates. Apparently being the first person to link to MckMama’s Not Me Monday post MEANS THAT YOUR DAILY VISIT TOTAL WILL SKYROCKET.

TO THE TUNE OF 1,008 visitors in a 16 hour period of time.

YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND HOW EXCITED I WAS AM.

That’s it for this week, folks!

Be sure to stop by Musings of a Housewife for more lessons learned.

Oh, and my Arbonne give-away ends tomorrow. Go here to enter.

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