From Inmates to Playdates

Archive for October, 2009

It wasn’t me who sat in my big, blue, bloggy chair for the past two hours searching every. single. file. on my laptop for six pictures that were e-mailed to me three weeks ago. Because I would never ever hit a wrong button on my computer or be side-tracked to the point where I lose files. No way, because surely I am way too brilliant to do that.

It also wasn’t me who scratched her head and sighed real loud a short while ago because the green bench? The stupid green bench in my room is completely hidden by clothing. It wasn’t me because I never just throw clothes down instead of hanging them up or placing them in the laundry basket. Never.

Why, oh why can I not keep that thing clear of debris?

It couldn’t have been me who stood in her kitchen on Friday holding her beloved iPhone to one ear and the house phone to the other ear in an attempt to have a three-way call with two of my best gal pals. It couldn’t have been me because I don’t enjoy talking and couldn’t think of enough to say to keep two conversations going at once. Never. Not in a million years.

Ahem!

It wasn’t me threw her hand over her mouth when the words, “Man, that’s a nice lookin’ jeep” came spilling out as I passed a Jeep Wrangler as I headed into the grocery store. Nah, wasn’t me because JEEPS do not excite me.

[I can see McDaddy smiling from here!]

Oh, and it certainly wasn’t me who left the sliding door on my van open while my boys and I were in the Dentist because I would never be so careless as to let it all hang out. I’m still not absolutely sure it happened, its just that when I hit my door clicker the door was closing instead of opening. I choose to believe that I hit the clicker three too many times causing the door to open and then close before I noticed what was going on.

Yes, I’m sure that was it. It had to be.

And finally, it wasn’t me who won a gift certificate to the flea market in the Amish Country on a bus trip on Saturday, then forgot to use it. That would be silly because a gift certificate is like money in your pocket and the only thing I love more than shopping is having a gift certificate.

Aren’t you glad I didn’t do all of those things?

This post is linked to MckMama’s“Not Me! Monday” bloggy carnival. Hop over there and show her some love, but only after you head over here to sign up for my give-away!

What would you do if you knew you would not fail?
 
Recently I heard this quote and it has taken root in my brain. I have thought a lot about roads in my life that I turned off of, afraid that I would never see the end of the street. If I knew I wouldn’t fail though, I would still be trudging down some of them, my hopes high and my worries light.
 
Life is not like this though and so I’ve been thinking about various incidents  in my life, how they have changed me and how changing my behavior would have changed my life.
 
A couple of years ago, McDaddy received an early Christmas present. The McInLaws and I went together to purchase a TomTom GPS System. For those of you living under a rock wondering what a TomTom is… it is the smart choice in personal navigation. In other words, this system when plugged into a vehicle can navigate you to any destination in the US, England or Canada. On a recent trip, this new loyal friend guided us from our drive-way right to the door of our destination. She was a little peeved when we missed a turn, and then again when we turned into a scrapbook store parking lot to kill time because we arrived a little early. It didn’t know our plans had changed and she became increasingly agitated.

She needs to take a chill pill.
 
I thought about this little system, and its benefits to me if I could hook the thing up to my brain. It would give me a swift kick in the tail when I was about to turn onto a wrong road. Not that I have a miserable life, but because I can use all the help I can get. For instance, if I had a TomTom, I would not open my mouth to say the wrong thing because my loyal friend would be there to tell me I was about to make a wrong turn. He would save me the guilt I would feel afterward and save the poor soul I offended the reason to be offended. 

Seriously, I’m working on it.
 
I can think of at least two people right off the top of my head that could have benefitted from TomToms services in the past month. These two people have made decisions that have significantly changed the way people viewed them and its my belief a little navigation on their part could have avoided the crash courses they caused.
 
Oh….. and when I didn’t comlete my Graduate School thesis, TomTom would have been there to guide me along the road to see that I finished that silly thing so I wouldn’t have failure looming over my head. I would also know that the quote, “What would you do if you knew you would not fail” had a lot more meaning to me than I would  like to admit. You see, I have failed. My thesis is nothing more than words on my computer hard drive now. I have no intention of finishing and quite frankly, I am sometimes sorry that I even started grad school, because now I have to admit that I have unfinished business. I have no desire to finish now…but, the end result is still the same no matter what my intentions are at this point. I could list all the reasons why I didn’t finish the thesis – entitled “Gun Use in West Virginia Domestic Violence Cases,” but seriously, who even cares about that anyway. I wanted to write a thesis on something cool like murder or meyhem, but, the chair of my thesis committee had other ideas.

I have other ideas about him now too, but, that’s a whole ’nother blog.
 
If TomTom would have been on the job back then, he would have told me to back myself up, pick my own thesis topic and drive quickly to the end of the trail to get it finished. My grad school days did produce a group of great friends and provided me with lots of knowledge about Criminology, Statistics, Criminal law, Grant Writing and Counseling. If nothing else, I sure learned how to be a criminal during my academic pursuit at Marshall University Graduate School. The really sad part is that I was at the end of the road ready to pull into Masters Avenue and my thesis was not and is not as of this date finished. TomTom sure could have aided me in making a different turn to make those two years really mean something. Its all water under the bridge now and TomTom has rerouted me. Its not always easy to forget though and I’ve not forgotten it, even after eleven years. I have other interests in life now and couldn’t say with 100% clarity that I would finish it if I had the chance to go back. Instead of focusing on that, I will spend the next howevermany years routing myself down roads that will have significance in my life – raising my boys, nurturing my marriage and maybe even going back to work when my sweet angels are both in school. 

I am proud of what I have achieved and would like to think that I’ve learned something from the navigation system of my life. I’ve learned that its not always about the destination. There are so many wonderful things to see on the route, if your too involved in the destination you may miss out on the chance to make friends, change your course or learn something. I’ve learned this the hard way.  Winston Churchill once said, Failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts…. I will continue to focus on the road ahead of me and not look back down that long road I turned off of eleven years ago.
 
When you find yourself on the WRONG road, take advice from your internal  TomTom – at the next intersection make a RIGHT turn.

I could have titled this post, Thursday Three Hundred and Twelve.

Because that’s approximately how many things are on my to-do list this week. And, with all that I have to do, you can imagine the mess that is swirling around in my brain.

My brain is certainly a busy place.

Sheesh.

I keep thinking maybe next week I’ll get a break. But, it’s been weeks and there’s not a break within a thousand miles of this place. I seriously need to introduce my lips to the word, ”NO!”

So, in no particular order – except for the order that they throw themselves from the brain to my fingertips, I present to you at least 13 things I need to get done this weekend.

1. Plan games for a bus trip I will be taking with my church to the Amish Country on Saturday - I love games and I enjoy doing them, however, I would love to have some fresh ideas. Got any?

2. Put the finishing touches on Pastor Appreciation gifts for our two, wonderfully different pastors. Seriously, we are so blessed!

3. Picking up chips or 2-liters for the pumpkin hunt on Sunday at our church. Our sweet boys always have such a wonderful time picking and painting pumpkins with their friends.

4. Laundry, laundry, and more laundry. Oh, and don’t forget the laundry. Because the laundry is never done!

5. Visit and catch up with my aunt who is visiting from California before she heads back home on Sunday.

6. Pack for Amish Country trip. We will travel up and back in the same day, however, I never leave home on a trip without ample underwear, a change of clothes, snacks and anything else I think I might need before returning home.

7.  Wrap ‘door prizes’ for bus trip. Are they called ‘door prizes’ if there isn’t a door involved?

8. Read a big, honkin’ 200 page Closure Hearing Document dealing with the stupid school consolidation.

9. Flood our local Board Of Education and WV State Representatives with letters regarding the school consolidation.

10. Work on the basement. – McDaddy and I are currently in the midst of extensive renovations to our basement here at the McResidence. It could take us months to finish it.

11. Download (or is it upload?) pictures to the Wal-Mart web-site that will be used to design a scrapbook for a special friend.

12. Go to bed as early as possible. Seriously, I need some good sleep. And, I should start right now.

13. Copy our church bulletin. I’ve been doing our church bulletin for years. I typically copy it on Saturday. Since I’ll be going to the Amish Country, I’ll need to copy it early.

Like I said, Busy Weekend….

What’s on your agenda this weekend?

Whatever you’re doing, I hope you enjoy it!

I enjoyed last week’s You Capture challenge.

The color red was clear and simple. It was a no-brainer.

This week, though?

The whole Still Life thing had me wondering what in the heck still life meant. Thankfully, Beth provided some still life examples. And, I must confess I visited the site more than once for ideas. Otherwise, I would have no idea what I’m supposed to be capturing this week.

After I figured out what still life was, I had fun with the challenge this week! Especially since I figured out the whole ‘macro’ thing!

And this is about as still as you will ever see my sweet boys. *With Tom & Jerry blaring in the background, of course*

For more awesome You Capture still life photos, visit I Should Be Folding Laundry.

Next week’s challenge: Technology  (YAY!)

Typically, I have a tough time coming up with something different that works for me each week because I feel quite sure that y’all don’t want to read about Dr. Pepper and Little Debbie cakes each week. Although if I’m being honest, I can’t say those things actually work for me. It’s just that I consume more than my fair share of both of those.

Anyway.

I did hear harps this week when my hair dresser introduced me to a super, new product, but I’ll save that for next week, you know, because Works For Me Wednesday will come around again before we know it.

Instead, I thought I’d show you something neat that came in the mail today.

I received 200 of these.

This happens to be a post-card announcing Revival at our lovely, little church.

One of my blog sponsors, Uprinting.com, offered 200 free post-cards to one of my readers. In addition to that, they offered me 200 free post cards, also.

They were simple to design and the end product is a high-quality, glossy post card.

Uprinting.com works for me!

Not only does UPrinting.com print business cards and a bunch of other things, they also do sticker printing and custom labels. That’s all kinds of fun in one place! You can view their sticker printing page for some great ideas or you can design your own from scratch. Did I mention the easy design process?

And now, they are offering one of my readers (and me, too!) 250 custom stickers/labels.

Giveaway Prize Details
250 Stickers/Labels for One (1) lucky winner

Sizes: 2” x 3.5”, 2” x 4”, or 3” x 3”
Paper: 70 lb Label Matte
Specifications: Full color front, blank back; 4 Business Day printing

FREE UPS Ground Shipping in the USA (Canadian residents need to pay shipping and taxes). This offer is not available to residents outside the US and Canada.

To enter the contest, simply leave a comment telling me what you would use the stickers for. For an additional entry you can blog about the giveaway at your place and link back to this post and to UPrinting.  A winner will be chosen by the accounting firm or Random.Org on Sunday, October 25, 2009 by 11:00 pm EST.

———

In adherence to the FTC ruling on Blogger Reviews and Sponsored Postings – I WILL BE RECEIVING 250 stickers/labels from UPrinting.com for hosting this give-away.

Works For Me Wednesday is sponsored by Kristen over at  WE ARE THAT FAMILY.

——–

Random Integer Generator

Here are your random numbers:

2

Timestamp: 2009-10-23 00:11:28 UTC

The Winner is Commentor #2.

Tara at Minnesota Mama. Congratuations, Tara! UPrinting.com will be contacting you with information about how to claim your prize!!!!

My URL friend and blog designer (as opposed to IRL – in real life) friend, Jo-Lynne has hosted What I Learned This Week for a number of months. She has mentioned that this might be the last week for the carnival. So, I’m not sure about the fate of the What I Learned This Week carnival.

Rest assured though, that I will continue to share all my great learning experiences with you because, well, just because that’s the type of girl I am. And because I say it all the time people, this blog is about so much more than just entertainment.

Now, with that being said, let’s get this thing started.

First, I learned that there are hoards, hoards of people I tell you, doing searches over at Google Ave. that involve embalming. Who knew my embalming post would send so much traffic my way.

Apparently I am not the only one looking to Google for advice about fall porch decorations, either.

Next, I learned that my sweet Stevie must have grown about 412 inches over the summer because all of his pants look like capris. Luckily, my sweet Alex is only about 411 inches behind him and now those same pants fit him perfectly.

Derek Hough just took his shirt off on Dancing With The Stars – alrightythen..

I learned that when a big, fat ring that I’ve tried on at least 372 times is no longer in the showcase at the store, there is a pretty good chance that McDaddy is NOT the one who bought it.

Dang.

Thanks to Dr. Oz, I learned that taking 1,000 units of Vitamin D each day can help fend off the Swine Flu. [Note to self: Get. Vitamin. D.]

I learned that a new faucet can rejuvenate an old sink. Coincidentally, a new, fancy front door can do the same thing for a house.

And with great sadness, I learned that my beloved Saturn Sky will no longer be manufactured after 2010 unless by some miracle, someone, somewhere buys the company. Our dealer, here in Charleston has one lone Saturn Sky on its lot. It looks just like this one.

*Big, frustrating sigh*

That’s it for this week, folks!

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If you want to see What I Learned This Week continue, please take a second to visit Jo-Lynneand let her know that you enjoy her What I Learned This Week bloggy carnival.

Can you believe that it’s already Monday again?

The weeks?

They seem to fly by now that I’m (cough) 35 (cough) years old.

It seems like just yesterday I was writing last week’s Not Me! Monday post where I talked about NOT getting into a great, big crazy argument with the copier guy. Here it is a week later and I’m happy to report that the copier in question has been removed from the church premises and a brand spankin’ new copier with all kinds of bells and whistles has been ordered.

It’s pretty bad when a new copier excites me.

I guess I’m showing my age.

We had a great church service this evening. There was some great singing, some great preaching and some all-out praise.

It was not me, however, who came real close to tripping over the electric guitar cord at church and tumbling down the stairs on the stage. That is the last thing I need seeing as how I just recently shattered my knee cap.

I am such a klutz!

It did not act like a ‘kid in a candy store’ at the new Walgreens store in our area, and it also wasn’t me who made the bad decision to purchase two boxes of trail mix for the low, low price of $7.00, because now, it also wasn’t me who subsequently ate 1/2 of one of the boxes already.

Seriously.

I did not stand at the Saturn lot this week slobbering all over myself while I looked at the very. last. Saturn Sky available in the greater Charleston area.

And finally, It wasn’t me who didn’t get started on this post until after 11:00 pm because I was plotting and planning with McDaddy (and Stevie, too!) about some renovations we are just getting started on.

Hopefully there will be pictures of the McResidence very soon!

Have a great Monday, y’all!

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This post is linked to MckMama and her fabulously popular Not Me! Monday bloggy carnival.

“I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.”

Luke 19:40

Every morning while getting dressed, I listen to K-Love.

As I applied the last bit of make-up to my sleepy eyes, I had to laugh as I listened to the news story about the “most annoying words,” as reported by 47 percent of Americans surveyed in a Marist College poll.

I am good friends with the words.

“Whatever”

“You Know”

“Anyway”

“It is what it is”

And, “At the end of the day”

Friends, I can honestly say that I say whatever about 324 times per day. And, I’ve been known to throw out “It is what it is” and “At the end of the day” several times over the past few days.

Whatever.

See. I told you I say it all the time.

McDaddy would add “Amazing” and “think good thoughts” to the list.

There are lots of things that annoy me.

*Big gasp from the crowd*

McDaddy mentioned he wanted to get to bed early.

I mentioned I’d be joining him just as soon as I wrote a blog post about things that annoy me

And he responded with something like, “So you’ll be in bed by next year?”

And I was all like, “Yes, something like that!”

(Am I too old to say, “I was all like?”)

I’ll just start by saying that this list is just a sampling of the big ole stack of annoyances that aggravate the snot out of me.

Given the time and the energy I could clog up this here wordpress dashboard with things that annoy me. I’ll do my best to keep it short.

Things that annoy me, in no particular order….

• My stupid computer cord. Remember a few weeks ago when I made a plea to McDaddy for a new computer cord and y’all had my back and pleaded with him on my behalf? Well, your pleas were heard and he ordered a new cord for my hoopty laptop. Only the laptop is still having problems. As it turns out, it is not the cord that was the problem. It is the jack in the back of the laptop that is the problem. Just my luck. Anyway, now McDaddy has to take the laptop apart and work his magic to repair it.
• When the grocery bags rip before I get them into the house.
• When the Asplundh folks block our one-lane road for weeks to cut tress down trees marked for death by American Electric Power and I return home to find 4/6 of them sitting on the side of the road doing absolutely nothing four days in a row.
• When Amazing Race on my TiVo is replaced with someone on Sixty Minutes flapping their jaws about something not nearly as interesting as ten teams travelling around the world in a quest to win $1,000,000. NFL should get an earlier start.
• When McDaddy leaves the lid up on the washing machine.
• When a telemarketer who can barely speak the English language rings my phone asking me questions I can barely understand.
• The people that call from the vehicle warranty place telling me that my vehicle warranty is about to expire if I don’t hold on and talk to the annoying person on the other line that has no clue what model or make of car I drive.
• Commercials
• When people park crooked and take up two spaces
• When I chip my toe-nail polish after a pedicure.
• When something doesn’t work as it should (Roomba, vacuum cleaner, the candy-filled telephones I bought for the boys at Wal-greens yesterday)
• A 20% remaining battery warning on my beloved iPhone
• When people don’t follow rules
• When cars are approaching a construction area and instead of merging into traffic, they drive past the stopped traffic to the front of the line and they flip on their blinker expecting the front car to ‘let them in’
• The K. County School Board
• Flossing
• Flat Dr. Pepper
• Temper Tantrums
• Cluttered stuff
• Needing gas when I’m in a super big hurry
• Slow internet service
• Finding a spelling mistake in a blog post after posting it
• Dust
• When the boys hound me about “watching a show in the van every single time we get in it to go somewhere”
• The toes on my left foot because they will not go together like the ones on my right foot.
• Clumpy mascara
• Hair products that make my hair feel like plastic

Okay, I guess you get the picture.

What can I say? It is what it is.

Whatever.

At the end of the day, I’m just a crazy-stay-at-home-mom with a truck-load of quirks.

Thanks for stopping by here for a daily dose of crazy.

Have a great weekend, y’all!

It’s late and I’m tired.

I thought about doing a Thursday Twelve and listing all of our nieces and nephews, however, I don’t have parental consent for all of them and I’d really like to add pictures.

[Note: If you happen to be the parent of one of the twelve children I am referring to, please let me know your thoughts before next Thursday. Mkay, thanks!]

But for this week, we’ll talk about my TiVo.

Have I mentioned that I triple big puffy red heart my TiVo.

I’ve got one thing to say about the TiVo.

Best. Invention. Of. My. Time.

Seriously.

But, you should keep in mind that this list is only a sampling of what is there. I could probably fill up a Thursday Three-Hundred-and-Twelve if need be.

1. The View.

I know, I know. You’re thinking I’m a weirdo. And, yes, I probably am. But, I love the View. Today, Chris Rock is on today talking about weaves and I am watching the gadget guy introduce the first self-cleaning, washable, flushable litter box which you can buy at Catgenie.com for $329. Where else can you find out about David Letterman’s indesretions, a weave, a Samsung camera and Patrick Swayze all in one big place. Oh, but I miss Elisabeth Hasselbeck and hope she returns soon!

2. America’s Got Talent

Obviously I’m a little behind on my DVR viewing. I have no idea when America’s Got Talent finished, but, the two episodes on my DVR are from September. So, who knows if I’ll get to them before McDaddy introduces them to the delete button.

3. The Young And The Restless

I’ve been a part of the Y&R family for over 20 years. I did get behind on the daily drama when McDaddy was deployed, but I’ve since got back into the Y&R groove. I decided to start watching again even though the writers killed off Brad. I miss you, Don Diamont. And, y’all I know that he is now on the Bold and the Beautiful now and I used to watch the Bold and the Beautiful every.single.day, but I’m trying to cut back, so I haven’t started B&B back up yet.

4. Tom & Jerry

Sometime last year, Stevie was at my granny’s house and watched a show that he wondered “if I had ever heard of about a cat and a mouse called Tom and Jerry.”  Then, last Christmas, we got StevieSanta brought a Tom & Jerry DVD for his Christmas stocking. Ever since then, our boys have been a fan of that silly cat and mouse duo. They giggle themselves silly everytime they watch it.

5. Monster Jam

Two boys = Lots of monster trucks. Stevie’s favorite is El Toro Loco and Alex’s favorite changes daily. They love to ‘play in the dirt’ with their monster trucks.

6. Survivor: Samoa

When Survivor first premiered, McDaddy’s sister and her husband would come over every Thursday evening for dinner so we could watch Survivor and Friends. Then, we’d talk and talk and talk like we hadn’t seen eachother for months. That was back in the day before either of us had kids and back when actually got paid for working a full-time-job. I still watch Survivor, but the novelty has either worn off or been replaced by American Idol and Dancing With The Stars. Oh, and just for the record, between my whine and my whine, I wouldn’t last 40 minutes on Survivor, much less 40 days.

7. I Want A Dog For Christmas Charlie Brown

Don’t ask me why this is still on our TiVo. Our boys watched it about 4, 732 times between December and March. In fact, It’s The Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown had already made its holiday debut when my boys were still waiting for Charlie Brown to get that dumb dog. For some reason, it is still there.

8. Dancing With The Stars

It’s rare that I would ever be behind on my DWTS viewing. This week is no different. The episode that I have saved on the DVR happens to be the Tribute to Patrick Swayze. I’ve watched the group dance several times and I might watch it several more before deleting it. I actually cried the first time I watched it.

9. Bones

Bones is McDaddy’s baby. He got hooked on Bones while he was deployed at Guantanamo Bay and has been watching it ever since he returned home. We now watch it together. It’s a crime show which I usually enjoy, but sometimes it grosses me out.

10. Auto B. Good

Auto B Good is a cute cartoon that features cars. The Auto B Good website says this about the show…. 

In every child’s imagination, the inanimate come to life. What if it was possible for those creations to become a reality and teach important life lessons? There is such a place, the little City of Auto, just off of County Road “B” in the State of Good. Our boys like this show and we like them watching it.

11. Xtreme 4X4

Sheesh. McDaddy and Stevie love to watch this show together. Here’s what the show’s web-site says about tonight’s episode… Jeep Scrambler gets its tub, drivetrain, beadlocks and more all in a 2 car garage with simple tools. We’ll install a doubler kit for more gearing options, diy beadlocks, then keeping with our budget theme, we’ll head to a local custom shop where the cage will be professionally welded cheaper than having to buy an expensive 220 volt machine.

Blah. Blah. and more Blah.

12. Sherri

Sherri Shepherd has a new sitcom based on her life. It is on Lifetime and it is really cute. I watched the pilot earlier this week and I liked it. Malcolm Jamal Warner plays her hubby. If you’re older than dirtabout my age you probably remember him from the Cosby Show. Okay, in a search for a picture of Theo Huxtable, I just discovered Warner was born on 1970 which happens to be just a few short years ahead of me. Maybe the whole ‘older than dirt’ thing was a little much.

13. Thomas And Friends

As time passes, our boys watch Thomas less and less which is fine with me because the narrator’s voice drives me on a slow train to insane. They still play with the 437 trains they have with the train track set, but thankfully, the days of Thomas on our DVR are just about over.

Wow.

I guess you can tell a lot about a girl by taking a quick peek at her TiVo.

And speaking of TiVo, it could probably use a break.

That’s a wrap. Night y’all.