From Inmates to Playdates

You may or may not have seen this movie with Kirk Cameron.

Remember Kirk Cameron? From Growing Pains?

Well, Mike Seaver is all grown up and now and he starred in the movie Fireproof as Caleb Holt. A married fireman in Albany, Georgia, Holt firmly keeps the cardinal rule of all firemen, “Never leave your partner behind.” But Caleb’s home life is an altogether different story; his seven-year marriage to his wife, Catherine is on the verge of implosion. Neither one understands the pressures the other faces. Throughout the movie, Caleb leans on his dad for advice and ultimately accepts a challenge from his dad before giving up on his marriage completely. The Challenge is The [40 day] Love Dare.

Through the guidance of The Love Dare, and as a result of his new commitment to Christ, Caleb begins to understand the importance of marriage and sacrifice. Each day for 40 days, Caleb is challenged to recommit and reconnect with his wife even though his efforts are rejected, rejected and rejected some more. Throughout the dare, Catherine’s heart is opened to his efforts and she begins to slowly reconnect with Caleb.

Ultimately, Catherine begins to understand that Caleb really wants to save their marriage and is truly committed to her and the movie ends with the two of them recommitting their lives to one another within the bounds of a Christian marriage.

Three weeks ago, our Sunday School Class began The Love Dare.

Currently, we are on Day 16 which says….

Begin praying today for your spouse’s heart. Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to work in your spouse’s life and in your marriage.

Thankfully, McDaddy and I are not experiencing trouble in our marriage. Still, it has proven to be a valuable resource for me. Often, I am selfish and needy. I also can be ungrateful and selfish.

Selfish?

Yes, I said it twice.

I’m just keeping it real.

The Love Dare has caused me to think about my motives, my thoughts, my actions and the things I say. It also makes me think about how I say them.

Am I at 100%

Nope.

But, I’m in a better place than I was 16 days ago.

I appreciate our Sunday School teacher for leading us on this journey. It has been thought provoking and has helped me gain a better understanding of the way McDaddy thinks. It has also reminded me how blessed I am to have a Christian marriage with a loving, Godly husband.

There are some tough lessons along the way.

Day 7- For today’s dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a postive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.

Day 5 – Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.

AHEM!

I thought it would be difficult for McDaddy to narrow this one down to just three things. Surprisingly, they were three minor things (a couple of which I already knew would be an aggravation!) As I made my list, I was almost ashamed to write my three things down. They seemed so trivial, I hated to even mention them to him. Still, we did the assignment and now I try to keep my van clear of clutter and debris. Notice I said, TRY!

Day 13 - Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to “fight” by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.

This one was tough, because McDaddy doesn’t necessarily fight. Still, I made some rules of my own and hopefully, I’ll abide by them when the time comes.

It’s not always been easy, but The Love Dare is working for us!

—–

This post is linked to Kristen’s Work For Me Wednesday Carnival over at We Are THAT Family!

5 Responses to “The Love Dare”