From Inmates to Playdates

I seriously considered telling you about 13 things I want for Christmas, but coming up with thirteen things I’d like to have seems like a lot of work at this hour. My time would be better spent placing the gold beads (garland) on my Christmas tree so that it would be complete. I am kicking around the idea of attempting it solo because McDaddy is not here. While it may seem like an easy job for one person, perhaps I should let you know that our tree is 9 feet tall which means I would have to stand on a bar stool which means that danger is imminent because, well, I am clumsy enough without climbing onto a bar-stool and attempting to balance myself without falling off or tipping the stool.

However.

I have a condition called Iwantitdonerightnow, so it looks like I’ll be throwing caution to the wind and climbing on that bar-stool here directly.

Wish me luck!

But for now, may I present 13 things I could live without, in no particular order except the order they fly out of my head.

1. Olives – I don’t get it. They stink, they taste bad and they are expensive. That’s a triple whammy in my book.

2. Gnomes – Again, I don’t get it (them!) They are ugly and useless. The very fact that gnomes made this list, makes me shake my head wondering what made me even think of gnomes.

3. My Phone Ringing Before 9:00 am -  If you are not dead or bleeding, or calling about someone who is dead or bleeding, you should not be calling the McResidence under any circumstance. Period. Thank you, and Amen!

4. GEICO commercials featuring those stupid cave-men -Who came up with this marketing campaign? Whomever they are, they should be fired immediately. The caveman thing is the dumbest commercial campaign EVER!

5. LOL- I triple hate the whole LOL thing. You will never, and I repeat never, see my name associated with any LOL or OMG or TTYL or LMBO. They are showing up more and more on The Facebook. I do use these from time to time, or even this but never a three or four letter combo. 

6. ICY ROADS- I am a scaredy cat when it comes to icy roads. I have no confidence and I live on a big, freakin, hill, so, icy roads + me = danger!

7. CAPPUCCINO – I know I’m going to rile some feathers with this one.. Why anyone would spend $6.00 on a ridiculously high calorie hot beverage is beyond me. I like a good (cheap) cup of hot chocolate from time to time, but those expensive, over-priced (not the same thing!) high calorie hot drinks do nothing for me. I even tried a (very expensive) cup of hot chocolate at Starbucks one time. It was the worst cup of hot chocolate I ever drank and after two sips I tossed it in a garbage can. Big. Waste. Of. Money.

8. SPRITE and 7-UP - I don’t remember ever hating these lemony-lime drinks, but now that I’m an adult, I’d just as soon drink water than try to force this crap down my throat. If its a day or so flat, it’s ten times worse. Complete nastiness!

9. DUST – Sweet mercy, where does it all come from? The very second I dust the TV and its stand, particles land right back on the silly thing. The attempt almost seems useless.I don’t mind cleaning. I really don’t. I do mind dusting.

10.  HACKERS- With all of my heart, I firmly believe there is a special place reserved in a really hot place for those individuals who get their kicks from hacking into other people’s computer accounts. It’s no secret that I am as nosey as the next gal, however! However, those who hack into Facebook accounts, bank accounts, e-mail accounts, and any other account out there need to be banned from the internet for life. Even someone as nosey as me knows that there are limits.

11.  BLOGGER COMMENT BOXES WITHOUT THE NAME/URL OPTION- Okay, if your blog is hosted by Blogger, I have a question. When I try to leave a comment on a blogger blog without the name/url option, I get an error message telling me to please sign in to Google or something I can’t remember right off. I’ve signed (logged?) in to Google about three trillion times and it never ever remembers me. I get the same stupid message which I wish I could remember because I’ve been wanting to make this plea for a long time! So, my question (and you thought I’d never get to the question) is why do some of you opt not to allow the name/url option? (And yes, I am totally going on the search right now for a comment box like the one I speak of!)

Okay, I found one. It says Choose an Identity. GOOGLE ACCOUNT and has a place for a user account and password. It also has an option for Open ID. Only once you click on Open ID, there is no Open ID option. 

When presented with this screen, I have no idea what to do. 

If you are still reading, bless your soul, because I know its possible you might not be understanding any of this Number 11. 

Comments are hard to come by and I think bloggers should make it easy peasy for readers to leave comments. When I see that option, I just mumble something and go on my merry way!

Have you ever noticed that the further I get into my list, the lenghthier the commentary?

12. DIAL UP INTERNET SERVICE - Thankfully, we are blessed with The DSL here at the McResidence, however, there are still those who must deal with the ridiculousness of the Dial Up. It is beyond me how we can put a man on the moon or how we can offer shoes buy one get one free but we can’t find a way to provide DSL to every neighborhood in America.

Now, I recognize that I know very little about the infrastructure of the internet, however, (man, there are lots of howevers tonight!) I know that someone somewhere has the means and the money to make this happen.

13. ENERGY SAVING LIGHTBULBS- I’m just full of myself today.. don’t ya think?  I know there are a few of you out there who will not agree with me on this. Remember about ten (very long) paragraphs ago when I mentioned that I am a “wantitdonerightnow” kind of girl. That means that when I flip a switch, I expect the light to come on full force immediately. Not three minutes from now.

My word. I’m aggravated just thinking about these thirteen things.

Enjoy your Thursday, y’all!

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