If you've come here looking for a daily dose of crazy, you've come to the right place.
Just Some Stuff and Some Things I Did Not Do
Not Me! Monday was created by MckMama from a desire to be brutally honest about our imperfections and shortcomings and reveal a few moments we’d rather forget. It is cheaper than therapy and therefore, you should join in the fun!
Now, for the things I most certainly did not do this week….
There is no way that I lost my sweet Alex at the Monster Jam Pit Party on Saturday because what kind of mother loses her kid? Seriously, I did not run around the joint yelling his name thinking that even if he couldn’t see me, he would definitely hear me and come running.
If that had happened, I’m sure it would have been very scary.
It also wasn’t me who did something mysterious to her left thumb that caused internal bruising and soreness. And, if you think I have a flair for the dramatic you would be sadly mistaken because I am not a drama queen who experiences some of the weirdest problems known to man.
While sitting at the breakfast table eating apple jacks, it wasn’t me who had the overwhelming urge to throw an obviously rotten orange on the driveway just to see what would happen because it was hard as a brick. I talked myself out of it, but left it in the fruit bowl because tomorrow might be a different day.
Earlier in the week, I did not visit Google to find out what happens to an orange when it rots because who cares about the orange and the rot? Nor did I just minutes ago talk myself out of cutting the orange in half to find out once and for all what was going on inside of the orange because it would probably be nasty and I would probably gag because thats what I do when I am grossed out.
No indeed. Not me!
And speaking of nasty… I DID NOT have a dream about inch-long worm looking things crawling just under my skin and then poking holes in my skin with tweezers to get the inch-long worm looking things out of my hands and legs.
Have no idea what that was about, but I was never so happy to wake up from a dream ever in my life.
I did not ask the ultrasound tech 312 questions about the ultrasound I had on my kidneys on Wednesday after she told me under no uncertain terms that she could not discuss what she was seeing with me because I am not nosey at all.
I am not currently watching ‘The Invention of Lying’ and thinking it is the stupidest movie ever because everyone knows that the stupidest movie ever award goes to Napoleon Dynamite.
And speaking of stupidest movies ever, I did not watch Dumb and Dumber for the 412th time on Tuesday, laughing just as much as I did the first time I watched it because Jim Carey is not funny. At all.
How about you? What’s the craziest thing you didn’t do this week? I’d love to hear from you today!
Okay – I’ll play along too.
It wasn’t me who slipped on ice and fell straight down on her heiney in the gym parking lot yesterday morning. Yep, still a little sore. Ow.
I like Dumb & Dumber, but love Napoleon Dynamite. His brother Kip is hilarious. Vote for Pedro.
Jodie´s last blog ..You Capture – Faces
The worms go in the worms go out the worms go in and out your snout. Wasn’t me who acted immature and typed that song on your blog.. Its 5:40 am what do you expect?
Erika
You had me up until Napoleon Dynamite. How can you like Dumb & Dumber and not that one???
And previous commenter, please, I beg you – please do not use the word ‘retarded’. It breaks my heart.
http://www.rwordcounter.org/
cool site – I have gone from inmates to playdates too.
Crystal´s last blog ..Not me mini van
I always feel like I should comment on these posts in list form…
You must have been scared. to. death. I have done that “Mom scream” before… JAAAAAACCKK!!??
Your health problems sound like me and my before mid-life mid-life crisis that I’m going through. I have already given Steve permission to upgrade me as soon as he sees fit.
The dream? Thanks. Because I get these images (just like the worms) in my head and can’t sleep for DAYS. Thanks.
I do that to the poor ultrasound techs, too. They should know that we’re going to ask.
Napoleon Dynamite? HOW can you say that was a bad movie?!
Do you know what I did not do today? I did not spend the morning reading blogs and forget to start the laundry, and make bread for my little guys, and clean my house. Nope. Definitely did not do that.
Becca – Our Crazy Boys´s last blog ..Where’s Mom? (21 of 52)
OMG – how scary to not see Alex!!! I’m glad all is well.
I have dreams sometimes, too, that I am SO glad to wake up from — one is that someone is walking through the house when I am here by myself. It seems so REAL.
I also have dreams that I cannot find my way. Not really frightening, but frustrating to the max.
That orange will mold eventually. I’ve found them like that in my fridge. Sad to say. Anyway, it wasn’t me who threw them as far as I could into the woods across the street from our house.
Yum, you’ve just made me super hungry for some Apple Jacks!
Speaking of stupidest movies ever, I have a new one to add to the list: Stepbrothers. Super stupid, but also stupid funny. Interesting how that works out!
~Elizabeth
Confessions From A Working Mom