From Inmates to Playdates

I am very easy to get along with.

Just ask me.

But, even I have my moments.

During the marriage enrichment seminar that McDaddy and I attended recently, we learned how to effectively argue using techniques outline in a book entitled Fighting For Your Marriage.

As if I needed any help.

Oh, I kid.

Sort of.

My main problem when arguing is the volume of my voice.

And my temper.

And my ability to get over it.

Not good odds if you’re on the other side of an argument with me.

Don’t judge. I’m just keepin’ it real.

The session taught us how to argue effectively and we were given a square yellow and white magnet called “the floor”.

When we find ourselves in an argument, the key is for the “speaker” to have “the floor” before speaking and for the “listener” to do their best to focus on the techniques listed on the magnet until it is their turn to be the “speaker”.

The techniques listed are;

Speaker Listener Technique

RULES FOR THE SPEAKER

• Speak for yourself, don’t mind read. (Ahem!)
• Keep statements brief. Don’t go on and on. (and on and on and on and on – remember what I said about my ability to get over it!)
• Stop to let the listener participate.

RULES FOR THE LISTENER

• Paraphrase what you hear. (In other words, the listener should say, “So what you are saying is”… to make sure the point is clearly understood.)
• Focus on the speaker’s message. Don’t rubut.

RULES FOR BOTH

• The speaker has the floor.
• Speaker keeps the floor while the listener paraphrases.
• Share the floor.

We had a practice session during the conference, but chances are it went nothing like it would go if we were really arguing or disagreeing about something.

Our marriage is important to me.

And I respect my hubby.

So, for the sake of my hubby and our marriage, I plan to learn and follow this technique the next time we, um, you know, argue about something. 

And you can bet the farm that I’ll be running to grab “the floor” first! 

Visit THAT family for other things that might work for you!

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Before you go skipping along on your merry way, please take a second to visit my giveaway page where I’m giving away an 18×24 poster print. I’ll choose a winner at random 11:00 pm ET.

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