Hairs A Math Lesson

I fell off the wagon today.

The curling iron wagon.

A couple of months ago, I broke off a long, sometimes shaky relationship with my 3/4 inch barrel ConAir curling iron. My hair never seemed to hold the style anyway, and I felt like the curling iron only offered me the benefit of a decent hair style for about an hour.

And, if I’m being truthful, that’s probably a stretch.

It’s possible that I don’t use enough hair spray to actually hold the style, but the way I’ve got it figured, I used enough hairspray in the 90’s to last me a lifetime.

Me and Rave were good friends.

Great, in fact.

Lots of bangs = Lots of Rave.

It was during that difficult time that I learned first-hand about volume, velocity, gravity, mass, density, and inertia. All in one fell swoop.

Or something like that. Y’all know I stink at math, right?

In fact, if I weren’t watching The Young And The Restless had more time, I’d go scrounge up some old school photos of me and my bangs and show you just how bad it really was.

The bangs were constantly at an all-time high?

It was true in my case.

On a normal Saturday night in preparation for our weekly pilgrimage to the skating rink, my friend, Ami’ and I used enough hairspray for 30 girls. Her bedroom looked like it was covered in a smoke-cloud because of the rave.

THE RAVE. You remember the turquoise bottle, right? I could pouf my bangs with the best of ‘em. Little did I know back then, I was dipping my toe in very dangerous hair waters because over the course of my teenage years, there was a small fortune spent on THE RAVE and THE PERM.

I won’t even start on THE PERM, except to say, WHAT IN THE HECK WAS I THINKING?

We’ve all got sin-filled hair closets though, right?

I’ve never been real good with styling hair, but now that I’m a busy stay-at-home mom who rarely stays at home one would assume that I am at a point in my life where I have full control of my hair. 

But most days? I certainly don’t.

Over there in my side bar though?

That was a fantastic hair day. And a very rare day.

I’m sad to report I haven’t seen one of those days in a very long time. Which is the prime reason that picture will probably stay-put for a very long time. Either the left side won’t stay even with the right side, or both sides will flat-out (no pun intended) lay down and die by noon.

If I could have just one wish, well, it wouldn’t be about hair, but the third or fourth wish might be. How do these gals with good hair do it? Do they keep styling until they train their hair? Do they tease, spray, rinse and repeat? I don’t get it. I’ve spent a good chunk of my budget of amount of time looking for quality hair products. It should be a federal law that all hair products be offered in travel bottles just so you can test them out. I think my time and resources would have been better spent on paying all those years ago to have someone come in to help with the hair and show me once and for all what to do with this mess.

I’m hoping this new curling iron (with a concrete ceramic one inch barrel mind you) and some new hair spray will do the trick. I’ll sure let y’all know. In the meantime, enjoy your long weekend! Oh, and if you have any good hair tips, I’d love to hear them!