Official Police Business

Today was a GREAT day! It was also a very interesting day.

My friend Judy called to invite me to join her for an afternoon of shopping and lunch. I mentioned that I had to meet two ladies at 1:00 PM in the Toys-R-Us parking lot, but that I would love to join her.

She questioned me about my “meetings” and I explained that I would be buying a purse from one lady and selling a Wii accessory to another, all courtesy of the Facebook Yardsale. The Facebook Yardsale is an interesting endeavor. It operates just as you might think. Simply upload a picture, name your price and mention where you live. If you see an item you want, you simply comment “WANT” and the buyer/seller make pick-up/delivery arrangements.

In two months, I have sold 57 items for a total of $1,092.00.

Yes, you read that right.

I am averaging approximately $18.00 per day.

For junk.

Do you think I could make that amount of money from a sale in my yard?

Doubtful.

Plus, the Facebook Yardsale does not require me to sit out in the heat in the middle of June.

Not that I would ever complain about that.

Anyway, back to my day.

Before lunch, Judy and I shopped at Kohls and Shoe Carnival. I found an awesome pair of sunglasses which I wasn’t going to buy until I found out that they were 50% off. (I know McDaddy is sitting behind a computer screen somewhere rolling his eyes because I love to buy sunglasses), and Judy bought a pair of tennis shoes.

We had lunch and then headed to The Dress Barn. (Or is it just simply Dress Barn?)

I found a nice pair of Jeans with lots of bling on the back pockets (As if I need to draw any more attention to this booty! What is it they say? If you can’t lose it, decorate it!) and a really nice dressy black shirt. While I was in the dressing room trying on the bling britches, I received a text from the lady selling the purse. Her message said:

“My husband will be meeting you with the purse. He is a Charleston Police Detective and will be in a white Crown Vic police car.”

OH. SNAP.

I hollered over to Judy, who was in the next dressing room over, and read her the text.

My first thought was that this so-called “husband detective” might be coming to arrest this ol girl for peddling goods. (Dramatic much?) If you could see inside this head of mine, you’d know why I think of things like that.)

As Judy pulled onto the lot, she mentioned that a white Crown Victoria was following us. Judy pulled into a parking spot and the “husband police detective guy” pulled toward the end of the lot and swung his front end around so that he could see his surroundings. I quickly wondered if we should forget about the Dooney & Bourke purse and make a run for it. Judy put her vehicle in drive and drove right up beside of the police car. I had no choice but to go for it.

Husband Police Detective Guy (who clearly appeared to be undercover to me!) opened his door, stepped out of the vehicle, purse in hand and called me ma’am.

Ma’am?

Really?

He handed me the purse and I had one last chance to run. Here I was on the Toys-R-Us parking lot, in the middle of the afternoon, ready to purchase a used purse from an undercover detective less than half-mile from the jail I spent seven years in. I have watched enough episodes of COPS to know that once I placed money in his hand, this was a done deal.

I made a comment about being skeptical about this deal seeing as how he was a cop, (which looking back on it probably made me sound like a crazy person!) and then handed him a clean, crisp bill that I hoped with everything in me didn’t happen to be counterfeit. I slid into the passenger seat and slammed the door. I couldn’t figure out why I was breathing all heavy as if I had just sold street drugs to an undercover cop. The whole transaction was perfectly legal but for some reason I felt relieved that I didn’t end up in the back of his car.

I got myself calmed down and I held my beautiful new bag up for Judy to see. We laughed all the way home about the crazy turn of events. 

A great deal on a great purse, a yummy lunch with a good friend, new sunglasses, a new shirt, and some great blog fodder.

If that ain’t a good day, I don’t know what is.