In the past hour, I’ve gone from bad to worse in the head department. My nose if running. My eyes are watering. I’m sneezing. I’m keep getting choked on the crap that’s running down the back of my throat and my nose is raw. And my body aches.
Oh, AND on top of that, I have a friggin’ fever-blister.
Yes, I said fever blister.
I’m pretty sure if I googled my condition, I would find that I am minutes away from my head exploding. I should probably reaquaint McDaddy on the post outlining wishes for my funeral on the off-chance that I kick off in my sleep.
What? It could happen.
You may remember that I made a grand declaration to be buried in a mahogany casket. A few weeks ago, McDaddy was sitting at his mom and dad’s house and he sent me a picture text of a casket flier that included prices. I was surprised to find out a solid mahogany casket was over $19K. In fact, just reading the info caused me to spew coke all out my mouth. It was then, that I came to terms with the fact that McDaddy would probably have my hind-end displayed in some cheap pressed-wood casket that was on the clearance corner.
And then it dawned on me that this head nastiness could be related to Legionnaire’s Disease, which is scary because apparently there is a chance that we were exposed to it back in July at a hotel we stayed at in Pennsylvania.
Geez, how did I forget to tell y’all about that?
Anyway, a quick trip to Diagnose Me dot Com confirmed that this head crap is probably not Legionnaire’s Disease. And I pinky swear that I’ll share the Legionnaire drama with y’all tomorrow.
For now, I think me and the Kleenex might go in search of some really strong NyQuil with the hopes of kickin’ this mess in my sleep because I am way too busy to be sick. And I feel way too bad to think about run-on sentences.