6:42 AM – Curse Wake to the sound of the crickets coming out of my iPhone, signalling the start of a new day.
6:51 AM – Discuss the importance of a healthy breakfast with the boys, while also explaining that we cannot eat poptarts for breakfast everyday.
7:29 AM – Leave the house to drop the boys off at school. Grumble about the idiots in the drop-off line. For the love of all that is holy, WHY is this so difficult?
8:04 AM – Make the toughest decision I’ll make all day. Should I nap on the couch or in my bed?
9:17 AM – Remember that I forgot to move the laundry f rom the washer to the dryer last night. And now, of course, it’s a stinky mildewy mess. So, we shall wash it again.
10:23 AM – Wonder to myself why I have such a tough time keeping the kitchen cabinet clear of debris.
10:26 AM – Conclude I can’t keep the kitchen cabinet cleared off because I spend too much time on Facebook.
10:30 AM – Text the ball team to remind them of our game tonight. Check e-mail while on my phone and realize I just got side-tracked whilst cleaning off the counter. Again.
11:46 AM – Decide that because it is a nice afternoon, I should take the SKY out for a drive instead of cleaning off the kitchen counter.
11:51 AM – Discover the friggin’ water company workers have cut huge holes in the road at the bottom of the hill, which means there is dust all over the road, and of course, my pretty red car. DANGGIT.
12:14 PM – Remember that McDaddy just washed the car yesterday. Scowl when it starts to rain because he will not be a happy camper.
12:17 PM – Pray for the rain to stop.
1:42 PM – Head home to change vehicles before picking the boys up from school.
1:52 PM – Barely make it into the house and into the bathroom just before peeing my pants. Why do I wait to the last minute to go? My 38 year-old-bladder is no longer up to that challenge.
2:20 PM – Play Words With Friends in the pick-up line before discovering that Houston, we have a problem…
2:21 PM – Sitting in the school pick-up line wondering why people make it so freakin’ difficult. It is not ROCKET SCIENCE people. If parents would remember two simple rules, the pick-up line would operate like a well-oiled machine.
- Follow the leader. But only follow the leader if the person in front of you is where they should be.
- Do not skip line.
Sweet hallelujah, there is nothing that aggravates me more than a selfish joker who skips line in the pick-up line. If you’re not late for an organ donation appointment or bleeding from your bowel, GET IN LINE behind the rest of us.
2:46 PM – Pat myself on the back and marvel that I completely understand Alex’s math homework. For the first day in a week.
3:04 PM – Call out spelling words to Stevie in preparation for the pre-test he will have the next day.
3:09 PM – Spend 14 seconds looking at 4th grade math homework before telling Stevie to “Go over it with daddy when he gets home”.
4:13 PM – Decide that all manner of dizziness is gone from my head. I suspect my Doctor was correct in his assessment that it was being brought on by my attempt at weaning myself off of Paxil, which I began taking when McDaddy got deployed back in 2009. Yes, I am an emotionally needy being who benefits from the little blue pill which is smaller than my pinky fingernail. So, for now I’ll remain on it. So, that’s that.
4:17 PM – Kick myself for taking a nap instead of putting on a pot of taco soup earlier this morning.
5:52 PM – Head to baseball field for an evening of fall ball.
6:29 PM – Wonder why parents let their kids act the way they do. Sheesh, what is wrong with people?
6:47 PM – Scream like a crazy person when my boy is up to bat.
8:14 PM – Make a mad dash for home to get baths, pajamas and in bed so I won’t be dealing with grumpy bears come 6:40 in the AM.
9:32 PM – REMEMBER TO CHANGE THE LAUNDRY.
9:47 PM – Sit down with my laptop, iPhone and the TiVo remote to watch The Young and The Restless, and Criminal Minds.
10:12 PM – Nose around on Facebook and remember that the mud-room ceiling still needs to be painted.
10:16 PM – Contact a painter asking them to stop by for an estimate.
11:48 PM – Finally post my daily dose of crazy.
12:14 AM – Head to bed, ready to do it all again tomorrow.
Have a great weekend, y’all!
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