Totally Random Nonsense

It is with regret that I announce that I shot my wad on the SLIMpossible diet today.

While at the hospital for most of the day, I found myself with about six minutes to scarf down some “lunch”. I made a quick trip to the hospital snack bar and settled on a bag of Doritos and a chocolate pudding parfait, which I could not pass up because, HAVE YOU EVER HAD ONE? And, in a moment of weakness, I swallowed four thin mints, almost whole.

On an unrelated note, who named those suckers THIN mints anyway? I realize they are THIN, but that’s the last thing anyone who eats them is going to be. (Especially when you eat an entire sleeve. * Not that I’ve ever done that! *

In my defense though, I did come home and spend an hour with Leslie Sansone in an attempt to work that parfait and the Doritos and those four measly 160 calorie THIN mints off.

For weeks (or maybe it’s been months at this point) my kitchen counter has looked like this because the screen on that pretty pink laptop decided to quit working.

Only, I did move the monitor and keyboard over toward the wall to clear up half the counter.

But alas, I am pleased to report that tonight I am no longer sitting on that HARD bar stool. Instead, I am blogging from the comfort of my big, blue, bloggy couch with a brand spankin’ new laptop with a screen that works.

Hallelujah.

And Amen.

My tailbone thanks you, McDaddy.

And I do, too!

I heard bad news today.

I mean REALLY bad news.

I haven’t been able to think about much else since I heard the news.

Can you believe that my beloved Maksim Chremkovskiy will not be on this season of Dancing With The Stars?

That makes me nine kinds of unhappy.

But seeing these at the hospital today sure made me smile.

Yes, those are tennis shoes.

The nurse wearing them explained that they are specially designed tennis shoes (called Z-Coils) for people with a bad back. I think they are super cool and really, I MEAN REALLY wanted to ask her if I could try them on. But instead, I just snapped a picture all secret-squirrel right in the middle of the E-R.

She bought them on a Canadian website and they were $240. And before you ask, for once I wasn’t the one asking nosy questions. My dad happened to be in the E-R with me and his nose is way bigger than mine! (Hi Dad!) He was asking her all kinds of questions.

[On an unrelated note: Since receiving a tablet for Christmas, my daddy has joined the ranks with LBF’s all over the nation. And you can bet the farm it is killing him not knowing what the heck an LBF is.

I do not suffer from back, joint or foot pain (but remember I still have butt pain from sitting on that hard bar stool!), still, I really want a pair of those shoes. They are cool and from what I understand very comfortable. Not to mention I am finding, at the ripe age of 39, that comfort trumps cute every. single. time.

Oh, and on the off-chance that the fine folks from Z-Coil end up here at From Inmates To Playdates, Inc., you should know that I would LOVE an opportunity to work with you on a review/giveaway promotion. Just have your people call my people and we’ll set something up!

And just like THAT, I realize the time on my laptop is an hour off.

Danggit.

Crazy random posts work for me!

What I Learned This Week

It’s been a crazy, busy non-stop week. We had things on our calendar almost every evening and I’m afraid that I fell off the mission SLIMpossible wagon. I only exercised three of the required five days, and I was barely able to get in 100 ounces of water. I am hoping this week will be better.

Because exercise is worth DOUBLE THE POINTS this week, I need to get back at it. Oh, and also because this is the last week of the competition.

Here’s a little of what I learned this week.

1. When you have a message from Fed Ex on your answering machine saying a package requiring a signature will be delivered the next day and you must be home to receive it, you probably shouldn’t be quick to assume it’s a piece of equipment for your husband’s work. It is entirely possible that the package you will be receiving is a new laptop to replace the set-up that is currently taking OVER your kitchen countertop.

2. It takes hours to get a new laptop up and running

3. The Fed-Ex wait window is 8AM – 6PM.

4. The elderly gentleman down the street gets empty milk bottles from the Fed Ex guy every week. (I sure wish I knew more about this whole empty milk bottle deal.)

5. My weight fluctuates more than the stock market. UGGGHHH!

6. Ordering Samoas and Thin Mints in the midst of a weight-loss competition makes no sense whatsoever.

7. I have no business visiting Pinterest when trying to write a blog post.

8. Typing on a new laptop takes some getting used to.

9. Using a new laptop (especially one with a different operating system) is kind of like driving a new car.

10. I have forgotten about A LOT of really great rap music from the 90’s.

11. The girl scouts have the whole girl scout cookie pick up line thing down to a science.

That’s what I learned this week.

Now, what did YOU learn?

To join in on the What I Learned This Week carnival, simply follow these steps.

1. Any time this week, publish your What I Learned This Week post on your blog and link to this post (this is important!)

2. Link up with the Mr. Linky form down below. Please put the link to your POST, not the front page of your blog.

3. Then visit the other participants and see what they learned this week.

Alrightythen. Ready, Set, GO!



A Title Goes Here

For years, my mother-in-law has left comments here on the blog encouraging me to write a book. That thought makes me giggle because seriously, who in the heck – besides the mother-in-law (and probably my parents) – would buy a book written by a loud-mouth crazy person.

I can think of maybe three of you out there.

In honor and celebration of her first book Sparkly Green Earrings debuting at #27 on this week’s New York Times Best Seller list my friend Melanie is hosting a give-away over at her place – for what else? – sparkly green earrings, of course!

When I read about Big Mama’s giveaway I began to ponder titles for my first book. I’ve got strong opinions on an array of topics, so that means the writing possibilities are endless. In honor of thinking about writing my first book, here are 10 books that I could write, with confidence.

1. Organization: Be the most unorganized, organized person you know.

2. Powers of Persuasion: How to talk your husband into just about anything.

3. Getting to [REALLY] Know Your iPhone.

4. Beating The Clutter Isn’t As Easy As It Looks

5. Talking Is My Gift

6. 40 and Fabulous! (It would take me at least a year to write it, right?)

7. Sounds In The Night – Dealing With A Travelling Spouse

8. My Time In Jail - A Memoir

9. Does A Stay At Home Mom Have To Stay At Home?

10. What I Did Before Facebook.

Any of these sound like a best seller to you?

I Hate This Story

It is a treat having two little boys.

They are alike in some ways, but for the most part, the two of them are as different as night and day. At their well-visit a few weeks ago, their pediatrician informed me that at Stevie’s current rate of growth, he will be a 5’11” / 180 pound adult. Alex, on the other hand, at his current rate of growth will be 6’4″ and 220 pounds.

To which Stevie replied, “I better get to eatin'”.

I’ve told that story 318 times in the past two weeks and each time Stevie says, “I hate this story.”

It makes me smile because it is indicitive of the difference in these two. Alex is the little brother. He’s not supposed to be five inches taller than his BIG brother. (And yes, I do realize that often times these estimations are way off. Still, it makes me giggle.)

Some days these two push me to a ledge I want to jump off of. Other days, they crawl up on my lap and tell me how much they love me, and I know without a doubt I am the luckiest mom in the world. And lots of days I laugh hysterically because they say some of the craziest things.

Here are just a few of the things I’ve overheard from them this week.

1. STEVIE: Month, orange, silver and purple are the only English words that don’t rhyme with another English word.

ALEX: Well what about orangutan?

2. How do you think Einstein got to be so smart?

3. Don’t pee into the wind.

4. ALEX: Mom, did you know that VY Canis Majoris is one of the biggest and brightest stars there ever was.

[It is interesting to note that until that very minute, I had never even heard of VY Canis majoris.]

5. Coca-cola used to be green. Did you know that mom?

6. Mom, did you know that some sharks eat their babies?

7. If we ever get a dog we can’t feed it grapes, or it will die.

[I had to Google that one.]

8. Where does dust even come from?

[Dang, I'd love to know the answer to that.]

These boys are the light of my life. On my worst day, they can make everything seem like flowers and sunshine. I am blessed beyond measure that these two wonderful human beings call me mommy.

What I Learned This Week

It has been a crazy, busy, yucky day. And that’s after a crazy, busy, yucky week. And now, here I sit two hours before bedtime with a headache from you-know-where. If I were a bettin’ woman, I’d bet the farm that this pain in my head is directly correlated to the stress in my heart.

Because I am having difficulty concentrating this is going to be a short post.

Here are a few important lessons I learned this week.

1. You just never know what people have going on. Appearances can be very deceiving.

2. A headache makes it tough to concentrate on a blog post.

3. My face and neck produce an insane amount of heat and turn blood-red when I am flip-hoppin’ mad.

4. There’s a good chance that an insane amount of heat on my face and neck area cause a headache from you-know-where.

5. The older I get, the less patience I have.

That’s what I learned this week.

Now, what did YOU learn?

To join in on the What I Learned This Week carnival, simply follow these steps.

1. Any time this week, publish your What I Learned This Week post on your blog and link to this post.

2. Link up with the Mr. Linky form down below. Please put the link to your POST, not the front page of your blog.

3. Then visit the other participants and see what they learned this week.

Alrightythen. Ready, Set, GO!