A Pain In The Neck

I have been a slacker in the posting department.

Today, though?

I decided to bust out the laptop while watching Big Brother and catch you up on the goings on up in here.

1. For starters, my crazy medical drama is still in full swing and has become a great big pain in the neck.

Literally.

As you may recall, I had some serious medical drama involving my ear over the weekend.

After a visit to Med Express, a visit to the Emergency Room, a visit to an Ear Specialist, and a CT Scan, guess what?

The only thing I know for certain is that my ear is still hurting, the swollen lymph node behind my ear will have to biopsied if it doesn’t go down and after some stubborn veins in my arm and hand rolling, I have this beauty on my forearm where the nurse injected the dye for the CT Scan of my neck.

Thankfully, it isn’t nearly as painful as it looks.

2. Do you remember my sweet sister-in-law, Michelle? I sent her a text last weekend, asking if she’d be willing to make one of these for a window in our playroom.

Isn’t it fabulous?

Since our playroom is bright red and yellow, I asked Michelle to go heave on the red and light on the orange.

I found it on Pinterest and took a screen shot of it.

Am I the only one who takes random screen shots several times each day?

I can’t wait for her to finish it!

3. And speaking of random…. During VBS at our church, a friend of mine had a really cute, colorful, glass-bead bracelet on her wrist that she bought while visiting Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. I absolutely fell in love with it. This week, another friend of ours – who also loved it – went to Myrtle Beach. She searched out the little Guatemalan shop and texted me a picture of the one she picked out for me.

Isn’t it lovely?

4. I got so excited, I came home and ordered these

because I have not been able to find them at any of the local shops here in Charleston that carry the brand and also because they have sold out of several sizes since I last checked the website, and I couldn’t bear the thought of having that cute little bracelet without these flip-flops that I’m pretty sure will match the bracelet perfectly.

You may remember that I ordered their rhinestone counterpart just a month or so ago.

Clearly, it doesn’t take much to excite this ol’ girl.

5. I spent the evening looking at this,

All I could think about was McDaddy falling out of that tree.

Yes, that is McDaddy up in that tree.

And yes, I was a nervous friggin’ wreck.

I’d love to hear from you guys. What have you been up to these last few days?

Snake, Rattle and Roll

It’s another wild day in the life of me,
Which means it’s also another crazy post.
One day last week, I did something new
It was a day with those I love most.

It was another fun day with friends and our Jeep,
Before we left, I packed us a big lunch.
As we drove to the woods where we’d spend most of our day,
I thought about how much I loved this crazy bunch.

We spent the day driving through dark green woods,
And some rocks and then, the creek,
I decided to do my best today,
To not act like a scared, crazy freak.

As we drove along the road on our way,
There was a truck stopped just ahead,
Why were they blocking and stopped in the road?
And then we saw it lying there, almost dead.

They had stopped to take care of this,
And I jumped out to get a closer look,
Yes, I almost peed down my leg,
When its head moved toward my foot.

Somehow the thing was still moving,
Despite the rock to the head,
According to some they move till sundown
And then, they’re really dead.

Less than an hour later,
Something bizarre took place,
If you have a squeamish stomach
You might want to turn your face.

Something I never thought I’d do,
And no, this one is not fake.
The fellas had beheaded it earlier,
How did I end up holding a rattlesnake?

In forty years, I had never seen one,
But within an hour, I seen two,
Even without a head, it still moved
I squealed and yelled to my crew.

Not many of our group held it,
I guess I can understand why
Still can’t believe I held that thing,
And didn’t kill over and die.

This is one Jeep outing I won’t forget
I’m crazy for goodness’ sake,
And you guys will probably always remember,
The one where Princess Julie held the snake.

Have a great Monday, y’all!

File This Under ‘Daily Dose of Crazy’

It’s been one of those days.

First, I woke up to snow on the ground. Mind you, six days ago,I drove home topless in this…

Do youknow how frustrating thatis? Especially since the boys are off onSpring break this week. Quite honestly,it wouldn’t bother me ifwe never had another flake of snowfall here forthe rest of my life. Honestly, it WOULDN’T!

It’s been a long, harsh winter, and I am so D-O-N-E with the snow and all its shenanigans.

And if that’s not enough, I’m aggravated because the biggest change in my body after losing fifteen pounds is a really LOOSE watch. Seriously, my wrists? Of all the races for the butt,hips and thighs to win. Nope. The wrists are victorious.

In addition to that, the craziest thing happened up in here, today.

A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine posted a bedroom suite for sale on Facebook Yard sale. For a number of reasons, I had been wanting a different bedroom suite for quite some time, but mostly because, well, I get bored easily. After looking at the Oak furniture that our friend posted for sale, I decided I wanted it.I posted our furniture on Facebook Yard sale the next day. Within 45 minutes,ourfurniture sold. Two days later, the buyer came to pick up ourfurniture. Because I can never do anything the easy way, I talked McDaddy into buying new carpet for our bedroom. The day after selling our furniture, I purchasednew carpet and it was installed the very next day.Since that time, our mattress and box springs have sat on the floor and we’ve used square laundry baskets as night-stands.

Because of baseball, scouts,church, and a busy social calendar,it took several days for us to pick the new (to us!) furniture up. We’ve been living out of 31 bagssince I emptied our furniture.Last night, we brought the headboard and footboard home, along with the mirror that attachesto the dresser. Unfortunately, our friendhad used the bedwith a full-size mattress. Because of that, the support slats had been cut to accommodate a full size mattress. As he always does, McDaddy stopped by Lowestoday andpurchased the wood. He hadthe new slat supports in a matter of minutes. (Have I mentioned I love that he can do just about anything?)

We picked up the rest of the furniture this evening and I was so excited to get it in place. Once we got the dresser and armoirewhere we wanted it,McDaddyconnected the side rails to the head-board and foot-board, and he placed his newly made support slats in their place. Then, I helped him woller the box springs down onto the bed frame. The only problem was the box springs were too long to fit on the bed frame. The only way the box springs would fit, was to disconnect the side rails from the footboard. As it turns out, theside rails are 75 inches long. Our mattress and box springs are 78.5 inches long.

Math has never been my strong suit, but even I can see the problem with trying to put a 78.5 inch mattress on a 75 inch bed frame.

Y’all.

The craziest things happen to us.

I have no doubt that McDaddy will fix the bed mess tomorrow. And I’d bet the farm he wishes he had talked me down from this latest bright idea, and just kept the furniture we purchased just after getting married 16 years ago, along with the gray shag carpet that was in our bedroom when we moved in here eleven years ago. Instead, our mattress and box springs are still sitting on the beautiful brand new carpeted floor, the head-board and foot board are leaning up against the wall above them.

Eitherthe side rails for the bed have been cut to accommodate a full size bed, or we purchased an extra-long queen mattress and box springs – if they even make such a thing.

All I know is, I couldn’t find one single piece of evidence on the Google that this has ever happened to any other person on the planet.

But that’s not the case, now. I’m changing the face of the internet, one Facebook Yard Sale purchase at a time.

I say it all the time, people. This blog is about so much more than just cheap entertainment.

This Too Shall Pass. Or Not.

I’m thinking it may be time to throw in the towel on this-here blog.As muchas I love thisfamily-friendly – daily rambling about my faith, my family, and my love for the Saturn Sky – I thinkthe time has come to put it to rest.

And write a medical blog instead.

This isno lie – and I wish that I had exact numbers here, because I would never want to be known as one who embellishes a story- but, I’d be willing to bet that out of the 189 daysso far in 2013, at least 150 of them have been spentdealing withhospitals, Doctors, medicines, lymphoma, orthostatic hypotension, kidney stones, lithotripsy, ultrasound, X-rays, insurance billing, oncologists, pre-authorizations, peeing problems, CT Scans, lungs, diagnosis, tests, procedures,PleurX drainage catheters, cardiologists, side effects, medical supplies, home health, urologists, neuropathy, diabetes, ureters, orange pee, surgery, urinary tract issues, nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain, narcotics, antibiotics, Toradol, dizziness, antibody treatments, scheduling,fevers, chills,or medical appointments.

Seriously, it has been one medical problem after another for my grandmother, my mother, and me.

And while my grandmother and mother are far worse off than I am, I am choosing to share only my medical drama because, well, that’s their business, and this is my blog.

You may recall – or probably not, Lord knows I ramble on about so much – thatI had a kidney stone in March. The first pain hit my right kidney while I was sitting with my mom IN THE HOSPITAL. I ended up in Emergency Room of that same hospital a couple of hours after the onset, thinking I might die while I was there.

Mahogany casket, here I come!

I passed that stone the next day and prayed to the Good Lord that I would never have another one. It was my second stone in ten years, but unlike the pain of childbirth that everyone says you’ll forget (I wouldn’t know I had two C-sections!)the PAIN FROM A KIDNEY STONE is never ever forgotten. And the next time you’re all sitting around a table looking for a topic of deep discussion or entertaining conversation, have someone mention the words kidney and stone and I can almost guarantee if anyone there has had one, you can bank on hearing the words, worst, pain, I, ever,AND, had.

Have you heard the saying”A healthy kidney is a happy kidney?”

Apparently my kidneys are neither.

Because LO and BEHOLD three short months later I found myself pacing the floor, holding my lower right back, same as I didthree short months ago in Room 418 at Charleston Area Medical Center – General Division. I would try to describe the pain, but honestly, aside from ARAGING BULL COVERED IN SAND PAPER ROLLING AROUND IN YOUR LOWER BACK nothing comes to mind.

But wait, there’s more!

This time?

This time!

This time, Iended up going to the Emergency Room at Charleston Area Medical Center – Women & Children’s Division. I was in total and complete agony and again, crying like a crazed lunatic for the first thirty minutes or so. And then, just like magic, a full three minutes after the Toradolwas injected into the IV, I was ready to run a marathon.

Or sleep like a baby.

Whatever.

I don’t know who invented the Toradol, but God bless ‘em because it is the MACK DADDY of kidney stone medications. I opted for the CT Scan this time because LET’S GET THIS THING A MOVIN. After the size and location of the stone were confirmed, I was given five (FIVE!) prescriptions and sent home with instructions to follow up with my Doctor.

As always seems to be the case with me, this thing wasn’t going without a fight. My Doctor called to inform me thatthe stone was stuck in my ureter,obstructing my bladder, and OH, let’s just do surgery this time.I could hardly contain myself. Surely I could pray this thing out of me. After all, the thought of a perfect stranger exploring the business end of things while I am drugged up andOUT OF IT on a cold operating room table doesn’t necessarily appeal to me. But then, neither does painful pressure of “my parts” before, during and after peeing. Not to mention the CONSTANT URGE I felt even when I was only good for three or four drops.

Let’s see.

An exploration.

Or a urination aggravation.

Stay Tuned….

I think we’ll call this TheMcMedical Mini-Series.

Where’d You Come From?

I am often entertained by that little Feedjit box over in my sidebar. It tells me where my readers come from, what search engine they used to get here, and get this – the words they type into the search engine that lands them here. Folks, there are some crazy, crazy people out there.

Over the past week, here’s what people searched for, that landed them here at my bloggy house.

Lafayette, Indiana arrived from google.com on Who Do We Have Here? by searching for Amish candles ear.

  • What’s up, Lafayette, Indiana? With the help of my friend, Jessica, Iused the Amish ear candles on one occasion. After the candling, my ears felt better, but I’m not surethey really worked. My ears felt better afterwards, and there was obvious, um, nastiness on the end, but sadly, it did nothing for my inner ear eczema, as I had hoped.

De Kalb, Texas arrived from google.com on Thursday Thirteen Thirteen Things In My Purse by searching for applying hand sanitizer on fever blisters.

  • Welcome, DeKalb! Um, hand sanitizer on a fever blister. Really? I do get fever blisters from time-to-time, and I must admit, I’d try a lot of things if I thought they would work,but I’m not sure about the hand sanitizer. Thanks for stopping by, though.

Ashland, Kentucky arrived from google.com on Thursday Thirteen The Letter K by searching forHamorStreet Townhouse Flatwoods KY.

  • Aw, hey there Ashland, Kentucky! McDaddyand I lived at HamorStreet Townhomes(#6 – the one with the wreath)in Flatwoods(Home of Billy Ray Cyrus!) during our first year of marriage. It was a wonderful place to live, and the townhomes, back in 1998 were new. Oh, and on an unrelated note,our phone numberwhen we lived there was 606-836-8365.

Perth, Western Australia arrived from google.com.au on “One Of Those Dreaded Christmas Letters” by searching for Free happy Christmas letters.

  • G’day, Mate! I always love to see International Visitors show up here at From Inmates To Playdates, Inc.I hope you found some great ideas for your annual Christmas letter while you were here. Yes, I am one of those people who send out an annual letter every December.

Borger, Texas arrived from google.com on Who Do We Have Here? by searching for milia removal.

  • Welcome, Borger, Texas! A few years back, I had (a) milia removed from my face. It was quick and painless, and I was told by the dermatologist that a tool is available at the Wal-Mart for do-it-yourself milia removal.I recentlytried to convince McDaddy that I could remove his after watching her remove mine. He declined my offer.

San Diego, California arrived from google.com on “Broken Jaws” by searching for Are jaws broken during embalming?

  • San Diego, I’m so happy that you’ve stopped by. It may surprise you to know that a funeral director friend of mine invited me to watch an embalming a few years back. The jaw is NOT broken during embalming. It is, however, wired shut for all of eternity during the embalming. The mouth is closed either by tying the jaw together with a piece of suture string or by a special injector gun. [Bryan, if you're reading this, please remember that if I happen across your embalming table that I don't want to be wired completely shut.] My jaws were wired shut for six weeks after mandibular surgery when I was a senior in high school, and I have no desire to be wired shut ever again.

Monroe, Louisiana arrived from search.mywebsearch.com on “Letters To Crazy People – From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for Letters people have wrote to their ex dealing with his new wife.

  • Monroe, how are you today? I giggled when I read the whole “letters people have [written] to their ex dealing with his new wife” thing.While I write plenty of Letters to Crazy People around here, I don’t have an ex, and I’ve never had to deal with a new wife. But if I were dealing with a new wife, you better bet there would be plenty of letters to her around these parts.

Florence, Kentucky arrived from bing.com on “A Little Bit Of Gross! From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for How to get my wife to get a little bit nasty but not gross nasty.

  • Florence, Kentucky, I have no words. And that doesn’t happen often.

Espoo, Southern Finland arrived from google.de on “Kinky In Helsinki” by searching for kinky in Helsinki.

  • Well hello Finland! I guess by now you know that I didn’t really get kinky in Helsinki. In fact, I’ve never even been to Helsinki.In this case, Kinky in Helsinki is, in fact, a pretty pinknail polish color.

Thanks for stopping by, y’all!

Hope to see you again real soon.