So Excited I Could Squeal!

I am sitting on the big, blue, bloggy couch watching the Republican National Convention. And before you click that red “X” in the corner, let me just say, I WILL NOT be talking about politics. Well, except to say that I’d rather poke my eyeballs out with a fork than listen to politicians during an election year.

And that goes for ANY of them.

It just seems silly to me to stand on national television and talk trash about your opponent.

I’d much rather watch an extra hour of Big Brother.

I am pleased to announce that after four days, I FINALLY have my fall decor out. (I know y’all have been waiting with bated breath on that news.) And somewhere, McDaddy is sitting behind his computer screen rolling his eyes wondering why perfect strangers would be interested in that information, except to say that it IS NOT FALL YET.

But alas, I had a free day and more importantly, the urge. It might be weeks before those two collide again.

Fall ball is back in full swing. Alex “moved up” from T-ball to Coach-Pitch. It’s been about two years since Stevie played Coach-Pitch, and quite honestly, I had forgotten how difficult it is for 1st and 2nd grade boys to PAY ATTENTION and STOP DIGGING IN THE BLASTED DIRT whilst learning the game of baseball. God bless his coach’s heart. He has his hands plum full.

Is it time for the fall television line-up? Because seriously, I am ready for Dancing With The Stars (HEY MAKS!) and Grey’s Anatomy and American Idol and GCB and Mike and Molly and Private Practice. I’m sick to death of re-runs, and my DVR is ready to roll. Hurry up, middle of September!!! Until then, I’ll kick it with Shemar Moore on Criminal Minds.

I have several friends who think Shemar is the cat’s meow, and I’d have to agree. We enjoy sending random picture texts of Moore to eachother. I’m sad that he no longer plays Malcolm on The Young And The Restless. I’ll always call him ‘the one who got away’.

Alex is still suffering from the nasty coughing, sinusy aggravation. I had hoped it would be gone by now, but he is still battling the nose nastiness. We are rotating the nebulizer and the allergy pill and the nose spray and the Kleenex. Whatever you do, don’t forget the Kleenex. I’m thankful he can blow his own nose. I just wish he would.

Some time ago I received an e-mail from The Longaberger Company informing me that I was no longer worth their time I had not sold enough Longaberger in the previous year to be an active consultant. If that’s true, can someone please explain why I receive an e-mail a day from the Jokers. I have fought the urge to respond, opting instead to just delete it and move on. Someday though, when the time and the urge collide, it’s ON.

I hope you’re having an awesome Friday. My weekend will be spent at the ball field, and checking on the progress in what will be our new mud room. You can see some of my mud-room inspiration on my “Designing My Mudroom” Pinterest Board. I’m so excited, I could just squeal!

Which is what I do EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I climb in this sucker.

Sorry. I couldn’t help myself.

Check It Out

A few weeks ago, I had the privilege of attending a ladies conference. Best-selling author Angela Thomas was the featured speaker and the ladies in attendance were treated to a wonderful weekend of gifted story-telling and sound biblical teaching.

I read her book recently and I’m reviewing it over on my Review page.

I’d love for you to check it out.

Armed With A Plastic Fork

Every once in a great while, I come across some sort of  something that makes me go and get all Martha Stewartish.

That’s what happened a few weeks ago.

I was attempting to remove a melted votive candle from a glass candle holder with a plastic fork because that’s the way I roll around here. I was having little to no luck with that method when I decided to just forget it. Then, I remembered a trick someone mentioned to me to remove a melted candle from the holder.

You know, something easier than prying the melted candle out with a plastic fork as if I had a score to settle.

When your candles have had their last go-round and look like this,

Take them directly to the freezer, (it may even be a good idea to straighten your freezer before placing your candles there, taking a picture of them, and then placing the picture on the world wide web for the whole wide world to see),

Leave them in the freezer for approximately twelve minutes.

Give or take two or three.

Once you retrieve the candle holders from the freezer, gently tap the bottom of the candle holder,

OR, you may choose to poke your plastic fork gently and carefully into the candle,

The candle will ‘pop’ right out of the candle holder.

Replace the jacked up, melted candle with the votive of your choice or the cranberry chutney ones from Yankee Candle.

Light and enjoy.

I say it all the time people, this blog is about so much more than just entertainment.

Clothing Optional

Imagine, if you will the following hypothetical (ahem!) situation,

Minutes after arriving home from a three-day mini vacation, you unload your bags, laptop and accompanying paraphernalia in the middle of the  floor, take a quick peek at the Caller ID, listen to the answering machine, grab a bottle of water out of the fridge and head to your office the bathroom.

Because that’s what you do after arriving home after a long trip.

You make a quick stop in your bedroom to shed your clothing – because sweet holy moses you’re sweaty and hot because it’s 183 degrees outside with 99.8% humidity -  and oh my it will feel so much better to use the bathroom without those sticky clothes on.

You park yourself on the potty and hope like heck that maybe, just maybe, you’ll be granted five glorious minutes to sit there in all your naked glory and enjoy the peace before the constant barrage of I’m hungry -hey mom- can I play the Wii- and can I have a drink begin.

And then.

There is  a knock on your front door.

Before you have time to utter a single word, your seven year old goes running to the door because he is a party looking for a place to happen.

He gleefully opens the door and hollers “Hey Ronnie, Come on in!”

Ronnie, your wonderfully helpful next-door-neighbor who is always so great to pick up your mail everytime you’re out of town has noticed that you are back at home and is bringing your mail.

You take a quick look around the bathroom wondering what to do next.

Greeting Ronnie is out of the question because for one you are naked and for two, that would require you to scramble (naked mind you) from the bathroom into your bedroom. A short scramble for sure, but a scramble none the less.

All the while wearing absolutely nothing.

Just a couple feet away from the front door.

You leap up from the potty and say something really dumb, like, “Stevie, mommy will be there in just a second, I’m headed that way!” in an effort to cause confusion and delay because at the time all you think about is your nakedness and what made you ever think it was a good idea to go to the bathroom without your clothes on.

As is always the case, Stevie unleashes into some big windy tail about our trip to Kentucky - and ohmygosh the hotel pool was so cold we froze to death – hey, is this our mail, thanks for bringing it over – and oh, daddy is getting our camper because we’re going camping this weekend – and mommy didn’t answer the door because she is naked in the bathroom – oh my word this child talks more than his mother, I’m sure of it!

Well, maybe he left that last part out, but heavenstobetsy, I was sure holding my breath waiting for the information to be offered.

Did I mention that I was on in the potty?

And I was naked?

Before I could muster the nerve to slide out of the bathroom and into our bedroom to get some clothes on, I heard Stevie saying goodbye to Ronnie and then the door closed.

I exhaled and quickly made my way to my bedroom to get dressed. After that, I high-tailed it into the living room to have a talk with Stevie about inviting people in without first making sure that mommy is fully clothed checking with me.

And considered what a theatrical spectacle this could have been, had it not been, um, purely hypothetical.

This post is linked to me Not Me! Monday over at MckMama‘s place.

Daily Dose Of Crazy

It’s one of those days where my head is swimming.

Not that it’s any different than most days in my head, but today, I suspect I could come up with thirteen very random things to purge from my brain thereby making room for other, more important information.

Let’s see what we can do, shall we?

1. I heard (or read?) somewhere that Harry Connick, Jr. may be the replacement judge for Simon Cowell.

– This news? Sweet hallelujah, this news absolutely thrills me to death!

2. At this very moment, I am playing Words With Friends with both Big Mama and MckMama. I feel like I’ve hit the big time.

– Do you play Words With Friends? I’m JulieWV if you’re looking for a game with a crazy person.

3. Earlier today, my sweet Alex asked “if we could get a pogo stick?”

– Why yes, sweet boy. Yes indeed we can get you a pogo stick. I can think of no better way to crack your head and bust your teeth? On top of that, what else does McDaddy have to do besides fixing a hole in the ceiling?

4. The new 4.0 iPhone software allows you to put your APPs into folders. Did you know that?

– Simply hold your finger on an APP until the little black delete x’s show up allowing you to delete or move them. Drag an APP on top of another APP and release. It will create a folder that you can name and show all the APPs in that folder and will consolidate your eight or nine pages of APPs into fewer pages.

5. Am I the only 30ish woman on the planet who has yet to get swept up in the vampire, Edward, Eclipse nonsense?

– Really. Have. No. Desire.

6. Stevie’s speech teacher had another job lined up for the upcoming school year. In her words, something “just didn’t feel right about the new job!” so she asked if she could have her job at Stevie’s school back.

-Answered prayers.

That’s all I’m sayin.

7. Very excited about two very cool blog reviews coming up in the next week. Stay tuned!

8. Our boys are participating in an eight-week program at our church called Centershot Ministries. Their web-site says “The Centershot Ministry teaches children the life-skill of archery while sharing the good news of Christ at the same time.” That means my four (4!) year old will be shooting a real live bow with real life arrows at a real life target at thirty feet.

Wow. Just wow.

9. Summer is more than half-over. That makes me very sad. Especially when you consider how s-l-o-w the school year creeps by.

10. McDaddy’s cell phone suffered a fatal accident this week. His new phone arrived today. I was concerned that he might need my precious for a few days while out of town on business. Thankfully, my old phone (two phones ago) charged right up and accepted his SIM card. Me and my iPhone have been inseperable and I’m not sure how either of us would have fared if forced to spend time apart.

11. Stevie’s left front tooth is loose and crooked. When he smiles, he looks like Tow Mater.

12. I’m planning an impromptu birthday party for a friend. I’m giving out princess treat bags and may even wear my tiara.

13. I am in the mood for Chili’s chips and salsa. Would love to have some at this very moment. They are warm and salty and wonderful.

I know. I know. I shoulda never brought it up.

Happy Thursday, y’all!