From Inmates to Playdates

Posts Tagged ‘Lightning McQueen’

This week I learned a few tidbits of helpful information.

As always, I am sharing because that’s just the kind of gal I am.

It’s been a doozie of a week here at the McResidence. We’ve been away more than we’ve been home and we’ve been waiting on the Board of Education to make a decision regarding the first day of school at Stevie’s elementary school. It is frustrating, especially when you recall voicing your concerns to the school board that the plan they were proposing had about a 9% chance of actually happening the way they said it would happen.

And by 9%, really what I mean is slim to none.

They ‘proposed’ the closing of a neighboring school, and subsequent move of those children to the school that my son attends. The school where I am again, PTA President. And they claimed to have it done by the time school started back for the fall.

The school grounds have been dug up, there are construction trucks everywhere, the contractor has until August 25th to finish up the work and the first day of school has been moved from August 20th, to August 23rd. Still, I have no earthly idea how they think children will be able to start back on the 23rd.

I didn’t mean to launch into a tirade about the school system except to say that I’ve learned that my views reagarding the School Board are usually correct.

But I’m not one to say ‘I told you so!’ so I won’t say it.

Instead, here are the things I learned this week.

1. While shopping at the annual consignment sale -  hyped up on all manner of adrenaline and competitive clothes shopping – it is totally possible to inadvertently purchase three of the exact same shirt in sizes 5, 6, and 8.

2. There is a 90 day warranty on Crocs. That means that even if your rougherthanacobbchild tears up his month-old Croc (and loses his Spiderman jibbitzin the process), the company will replace the Crocs for a new pair.

3. I learned the hard way that it is never a good idea to shed your hot, sweaty clothes before going into the bathroom.

4. When making a verbal business deal, it is absolutely imperitive that each person understands what the other is saying.

5. When purchasing transformer t-shirts at the beach, you should go ahead and purchase shirts one size larger than what you actually need because one run through the dryer and they will pretty much disappear.

6. Ants are very clever creatures. For instance, if your child drops a crumb of brown sugar and cinnamon poptart on the floor under his barstool, the ants will come out of crevices you didn’t even know existed for their piece of the poptart pie.

7. If you spend the better part of thirty-six minutes killing and cleaning and disposing of dead ants, you can pretty much expect to spend much of your REM sleep that night dreaming about ants.

8. After spending thirty-six minutes killing and disposing of ants, then dream about them all friggin’ night, your first task of the day will be heading to the Dollar General in search of something to rid your house of them.

How’s that for some learning?

Linking up for the first time? Click here for the complete carnival rules. Or just read the Cliffs Notes version:

1. Any time this week, publish your What I Learned This Week post on your blog and link back to my blog. The button is optional, but really, why not?

2. Link up with the Mr. Linky form below this info. Please remember to link to your actual WILTW post, not the frong page of your blog.

3. Then, visit the other participants to learn what they learned this week. And, for added excitement, comment, comment, comment!

Ok, I think that’s all.

It’s Monday again and that means it’s time for another edition of Not Me! Monday, brought to you by MckMama. And because I’m feeling particularly rowdy, I’ve compiled an uneven numbered short list of thing I most certainly did not do this past week…

1. I have not spent the better part of two weeks buying and returning swim goggles. As you might (or might not for all I know) recall my sweet boys completed a session of swimming lessons earlier in the summer. Stevie is now swimming and can’t stand to have water in his eyes or to be splashed in the eyes while trying to swim. And so began my quest for a pair of swim goggles that don’t fill up with water the second they hit the water. Why is it that we can put a man on the moon but I can’t find ONE SINGLE PAIR of swim goggles in the Tri-State area that do not leak.

2. I am not! at 11:09 P.M. EST sitting in my big, blue, bloggy chair eating a Snickers bar while writing this post. I’m telling you people the late mid-thirties and their hormones mean business.

3. I am not already dreading the 14-16 hour drive to Florida for a family vacation with McDaddy’s family later this week because I am a great traveller who never complains or whines in the car that she is tired, bored, hot, or sleepy.

4. I did not start a list of stuff to pack three weeks ago for the aforementioned Florida trip because three weeks? Who can keep up with a list for three weeks? Not me!

5. It’s not me who has assisted a certain four-year-old boy for the past seven days in his quest for finding white-wall Lightning McQueen which has apparently been taken hostage in our home. Nor did we find nineteen (19!!!!!) other Lightning McQueens while searching  for White Wall McQueen.

6. I am not of the opinion that the airlines are out of their blame minds for charging outrageous fees for carry-ons, checked baggage, seat assignments, and bathroom visits for goodness sake.

7. I never ever roll my eyes when my boys watch Sonic the Hedgehog because I just adore Dr. Eggman, Knuckles, and Tails. And because I’ll take Sonic anyday over that idiotic voice on Thomas The Tank Engine.

How about you? Is there anything particularly interesting you haven’t done this week? I’d love to here from you lurkers.

Come out, come out wherever you are…..

I’m packed.

The itinerary is printed.

I attempted (unsuccessfully, mind you) to complete the online personality instrument required for our strong-bonds marriage weekend.

Power-cords, laptop bag, and iPhone are packed.

Clothes for the boys are laid out.

Lists are completed for medicines, and breathing treatments.

The boys’ Valentines are packed and ready to take to Sunday School.

I am ready to spend an entire weekend with McDaddy. A glorious weekend.

A weekend free of wiping bottoms. A weekend free of taking someone to potty in the middle of the meal for pete’s sake. A weekend free of the words, stop, no, zip your lips, and yes, you have to eat your vegetables.  A weekend free of Lightning McQueen and his posse.

A weekend of learning more about myself and my sweet McDaddy.

A beautiful Valentine’s Day weekend with my Valentine.

See y’all on Sunday.

Tootles.

Our home is a joyful place.

Except when two of its members are squabbling over the same version of Lightning McQueen.

Or the youngest of its members forgets that his teeth are only for chewing food.

Even then, the McResidence is a great place to be. Things seldomgo awry. The situation rarely escalates to a point where an adult is required to step in. Everything is so tidy, that no one ever loses anything or leaves toys lying around. Every member of this house is eager to pitch in to do his part, leaving very little work for me. And, as you might of guessed, this place runs like a well-oiled machine.

(Ahem!)

And if you were a fly on the wall, YOU WOULD NEVER hear the following statements in our home…

“Can someone please wipe my bottom?”

“Daddy” (times about 4,329)

“Mom, where is my [insert item here]“

“Mom, can I play the Wii?”, “Or the DS”,”Or the computer”

“Mom can we please watch a show?”

“Are these clean or dirty?”

“I don’t want to!”

“I can’t”

“Is it bedtime?”

“Can this be a play bath?”

“Ew, what is this stuff? Well, I don’t like it!”

“Did you remember to call the insurance company?”

“If toys are left out again, they will be put up and you won’t see them for a month!”

“Is it time to pick up Stevie?” (at least 14 times a day!)

“Mom, why do we need fingernails?” Um, good question, I really have no idea!

“Do you want me to get the spankin’ spoon?”

“Mom, are you in the bathroom?”

“Do I need my aggerly (allergy) pill today?”

“Can we take the JEEP?”

“Mom, can I wear my snow boots today?”

“I’m mad at myself!”

“Can I have a brown sugar and cimmanun poptart?”

I suspect I answer approximately 3,281 questions each day.

And, if you were a fly on the wall in our home, you would not have heard the following conversation take place three nights ago…

ME: “Alex, do not put that booger on the couch, you need to get a tissue – Alex, what are you doing with that booger?”

ALEX: “Putting it back in my nose!”

Seriously, you would NOT have heard that from my 4 year old darling boy because he always wipes his nose with a tissue.

Oh, and FYI, McDaddy and I most definitely did NOT spend another Friday night in the ER because of my stupid blood pressure.

—–

Visit MckMama’s place for more Not Me! Monday posts!

Stevie has been asking me for weeks when he could “Take more pictures for Thursday Thirteen on your blog” and for weeks I’ve been putting him off.

You know, because of child labor laws and all.

But lo, last Tuesday was a snow day and after his limited amount of time on various electronic devices, he was bored out of his mind and posed the question again. The snow day provided the perfect opportunity to take 13 pictures of random things in our home that he wanted to tell you about.

Each caption is a direct quote.

Are there Child Labor Blog Laws?

Anyone?

Okay, I didn’t think so.

Off we go.

1. I like my DS because I got two new games for Christmas and I like the new Transformer case because it can hold two games at a time.

2. I love my mom because she is sweet. She lets me do Thursday Thirteen stuff. She lets me take the pictures and tell her about the pictures.

[In my defense, it was a snow day. I haven't the first bit of make-up on and I was caught off guard and didn't have the wherewithall to hold my head up to hide that second and third chin.]

3. This is mom’s nightstand. I like the lamp because you touch it to make it come on. If you touch it after it goes the brightest, it goes off. I like the clock because at night, it shows the time up on the ceiling.

[I should take this opportunity to say that I also had a box of kleenex on the nightstand prior to the shooting extravaganza. For some wild reason, my nose has ran for two weeks without a break.]

4. I like the snow. I was hoping I could go outside someday and clear our block off with my gator, but we have not got a chance to. I like the snow because it looks nice with its white, shiny color. The step on Dad’s truck is icy and the truck looks pretty snowy as shown.

5. This is a map downstairs in the basement. It has flags on each state that mom and dad, me and Alex have been to. Some of them are from when we weren’t born yet. And mommy said she was behind on a couple of them because we are out of flag pins.

[Seeing this picture reminds me how far behind I am on mapping our adventures. Must. get. flag. pins.]

6. Daddy has two computers beside of his computer because he is working on Cindy G’s computer. Dad has been working down here a lot now. He used to be working away from the house a lot instead of downstairs, but now he is starting to work downstairs more.

7. I like my 4-wheeler but one thing I do not like about it is that it is one-wheel drive and if you get that one wheel off of the ground in the field and your back is facing the hill, then you are gone unless someone helps you. It has two gears, training and normal. The training is for small places and for people who are just learning how to drive it. The normal is someone who knows how to drive it already and its for wide-open places.

[I did not get to vote on the giving of this thing. McDaddy's siblings went together and purchased it for Stevie's birthday this year. Hearing my sweet seven year old say the whole line about the one wheel being off of the ground and then you are gone unless someone helps you, makes me aware that I need to  have a very long talk with McDaddy regarding this thing.]

8. This clock may have Chick on it, but it has two cars on it because it is a 3-D clock and it turns from Chick to McQueen. It has a different sentence on the top of each car. I cannot remember the sentence above McQueen. The sentence above Chick is The Challenge is on!

9. These are our Wii games. I have lots of fun on them, but my favoritist out of all of them is Monster Jam because I have won almost every single one and you can even move a bus out of its spot with your truck in freestyle. I have unlocked one of my most favoritist trucks ever which is El Toro Loco.

10. This is Alex and Dad. I love both of them and they are playing on mom and dad’s bed. The whole family has lots of fun together. Me and Alex like both mom and dad. Daddy works in the Air Force and he is gone of course today, and we miss him very much. One time he had a deployment for six months. We missed him but the very last day he was gone, when he came home, we showed our posters to him and we were glad that he came back. He has had to leave again but just for a few days each time.

11. This is our toothbrush and toothpaste basket. Me and Alex have Spiderman toothbrushes that can brush our teeth for us. You just press a button and the toothbrush brushes your teeth for you. We can tell them apart because mom wrote an “S” and “A” on the bottom of them.

12. Me and Alex are a big fan of Jimmie Johnson. This is our cool car turned into a Jimmie Johnson car. I was the one that got this plan. We printed the “48″ and the “LOWES” and the “Lowes Racing Team Sign” from the computer and then the first 48 I cut out, I accidentally cut the eight off, but we printed another one and I kept both of them together that time. I used tape to put them on the car. Alex was pushing the car once and pulled the Lowes Racing Team sign out of the tape and now it flies up when we go real fast with it.

13. This is the table behind the big couch. You think it might look beautiful with just that, but there are two things that didn’t fit in the picture. It is a vase and a picture of  me in gray (black and white). The real big picture in the middle is a picture of the whole family’s feet and it has a verse written in cursive at the bottom.

Now, wasn’t that fun? Yes, I thought so too!

We’ve had an exhausting, albeit fun-filled week here at the McResidence.

There is a seemingly endless stack of CARS memorabilia and can you believe that Alex received TWO MORE STINKIN’ LIGHTNING MCQUEENS THAT HE DID NOT ALREADY HAVE?

I would have bet the ranch that he had every Lightning McQueen known to man, but, hark, those very sneaky people at Disney added a green ‘tree like’ streak to the side of one of the boogers and called it Christmas McQueen. Also, they added a black streak to him and called him Burnt McQueen.

Genius, I tell you.

They pull innocent kids right into proverbial their trap because for some reason, these kids Alex think he actually NEEDS every Lightning McQueen known to man.

Transformers have replaced Thomas the Train in the Christmas loot this year. Just when I learned the names of Thomas and all of his rowdy friends, I have a whole host of Autobots and Deceptacons to learn. 

Sheesh. It’s enough to make one crazy crazier! 

But it was not me! who Googled the words remove & plastic & bag & from & stove & top on Christmas Eve.

No way was that me because surely to goodness I have more sense than to place a plastic grocery bag on a hot stove top that had not completely cooled.

And since it wasn’t me who typed all of that in, there is no way that I read the information and quickly summoned McDaddy to fetch some WD40 and a razor blade from his lair garage.

Thirty-six minutes later there is no way I was still using the razor blade to scrape plastic bag off of the stove top because me and the patience are not real close friends.

I can assure you that if I had put that stupid bag on the stove top that I could say with 100% certainty that I WILL NEVER make a dumb mistake like that again because the task of scraping that stove top is ridiculous.

Trust me!

That’s it for this week, folks.

Head over to MckMama’s place for more things that people didn’t do!

This was another easy, albeit eclectic week.

Real life?

Wow. What fun this was because? Well, because it’s fun to be me! I’m a blessed, crazy gal with three special fellas in her life. So, without further rambling, may I present to you, my real life…

This happens to be my dining room table.

And it happens to be covered with cars from the movie CARS. Meet Lightning McQueen and his expensive posse.

That little mess up there is equal to about one hundred dollars if you can believe that. Throw in those three Longaberger baskets you can see on my table and well, you’d have a lot more than one hundred dollars.

That, my friends is my real life.

And sometimes we throw caution to the wind and have these home-made goodies for breakfast…

I have two words for you. Scrumpt and Tious. Especially that one there at the bottom.

Okay, so home-made is a stretch unless you consider that I was home when I made them.

At any rate, they were yummy in real life!!!

And for a real look into our real life, take a look at this….

Our calendar stays pretty full! (Oh my sweet mercy, I love that MACRO setting!) The “X”s you see mean McDaddy will be out of town. Blah, blah and more blah!

That’s about as real as it gets around here.

We would rather be posing like this….

Than like this…

I love my real life!!!

There’s lots more real life over at I Should Be Folding Laundry. Head over there and check it out!

Dear Alex,

How can it be that you are four years old?

It seems like just yesterday, we were getting your hair cut for the first time.

Before you were born, the Doctor said you would be a ten-pound baby.

They were right on the mark.

At ten pounds, five ounces, you were the biggest baby in the nursery. The nurses nick-named you, King. Still, you were my sweet, little, boy! You were a good sleeper, you latched-on immediately and your hair was so thick in the middle, you looked like you had a mohawk.

When we were introduced to you, we knew you were sent to complete our family. I immediately saw some striking similarities between the two of us and although we’ve had our moments, I have a place in my heart reserved just for you!

Over the past year, we have seen so many changes! Your temper tantrums have turned into rational thinking and your stubborn streak has turned into, well, nothing…. [And believe me, I know all about the stubborn streak. We have been friends for many years!]

You are an independent little boy with a strong will and a determined spirit. You and and your sense of adventure scare the soup out of me. Please be careful. You are not Spiderman, Superman or Batman.

You have a double crown, a big foot, blue eyes, an extra tooth, a great laugh, a sweet voice, and a shrill cry. You are a be-speckled little boy who loves poptarts and shoes. We quarrel daily about your shoe selection. You need to understand that when it is 43 degrees outside, you cannot wear crocs. It won’t happen. I understand your shoe dilemma, I really do, but please just work with me here. [We are alike in so many ways!]

You are so good to go along with whatever I am doing. Whether we’re trapsing through Wal-Mart or sitting in the copy room at Flinn, you normally go with the flow. I enjoy hanging out with you, kiddo!

It is my prayer for you that you can always be as happy and full of joy as you are on this day, at your fourth birthday party. I had a great time watching you enjoy your day!  Happy Birthday!

I love you, sweet boy!

Love, Mama

I suspect Beth had Fall in mind when she gave us the You Capture Challenge this week.

The Color Red.

While I did snap some really cool red pictures, none of them have anything to do with fall.

This was a fun week, though.

1. First, my beloved Saturn Sky. Well, it’s not actually mine, but I do love it. And it is an awesome shade of chili pepper red.

2. Daddy’s Heap (ahem, I mean JEEP) that happens to be for sale.

3. I tried to get all artsy-fartsy with this one, but sadly, it just looks fartsy-blurry.

4. This one is a result of going through my kitchen cabinets at 10:23pm on Wednesday evening before posting You Capture the week the challenge is THE COLOR RED.

5. This one is pretty self-explanantory, um, except for the wrinkles….

6. I couldn’t dare let this week’s THE COLOR RED challenge pass-me-by without shooting this feller who gets more than his share of attention around these parts.

7. My RED fossil wallet.

Head over to I Should Be Folding Laundry for lots more of The Color Red.

Dear Wal-Mart Manager Guy:

I am writing this letter as a service to you, and subsequently the patrons of your store there on the Corridor.

I visited your store this morning, and for the first time in forever at least seven years, I was able to enjoy all that the Mart of Walls has to offer in a relaxing atmosphere without the constant disruption of potty breaks, CARS aisle visits, and, answering for the 14th time why we cannot purchase the newest Power Wheels riding toy. In other words, I  looked forward to an hour of bliss reacquainting myself with my home away from home after extensive renovations completed a short time ago.

First, I’d like to start by saying that the renovations at our neighborhood Mart of Walls make me smile. The bright blue signage does wonders for my OCD, and the airy openess of the ‘new set-up’ gives me a fuzzy, warm feeling inside. On top of that, I really appreciate the way all your peeps now wear a navy blue shirt. (I won’t tell Target y’all are copying the whole wear the same colored shirt thing.) Just know that it looks nice having all of your folks in the same color and the shirts make it easier to identify who can help me find things that are no longer where they used to be.

I’m wondering though about the gal at Register #14. You know the one with half of her belly hanging out of her navy blue shirt. Do y’all really permit belly shirts? If you do permit them, then shame on you. It’s not really flattering.

Or even acceptable.

Next, I’m curious why it is that someone on the Wal-Mart design team felt it necessary to design 36 check-out lanes if you are only going to open seven check-out lanes at any one time. I found this to be true more than once and each time your check-out lanes were about nine-crazy-people deep. I would like to propose that your managers have at least half of the check-out lanes open at all times. This single move would make a huge difference in the lives and minds of Wal-Mart patrons everywhere.

Just sayin’

Lastly, can I make one final plea?

My sweet boys have looked at your assortment of CARS vehicles all. summer. long. They are looking for Giovanni. He is a friend of Snot Rod’s and he is not there at your store. There are 732 versions of Lightning McQueen, 4 versions of Mater, Snot Rod, Ramone, Fillmore, Doc Hudson, Sheriff, and Nitroade. Where in the name of pete is Giovanni? The last time we were all together in the CARS aisle, I asked my sweet boys where they saw Giovanni. My oldest son answered quickly, “At the Wal-mart in New Hampshire!”

Nice.

Wal-Mart.

In New Hampshire.

[Note to self: The next time you are in another state and your boys find a rare CARS die-cast car, BUY IT IMMEDIATELY!]

Can you tell me why the Wal-Mart in West Virginia cannot order and carry Giovanni like your counterpart in New Hampshire?

Forget the Rollbacks.

Y’all need to get on a roll and get some new CARS merchandise in your store.

Seriously. I look in that aisle every time I’m in your store and even did so today while my sweet boys were at school. I thought it would be a sweet surprise to find Giovanni.

It would have been more like a miracle.

Can you check into it for me?

I’d appreciate your attention to these matters.

Thank you kindly,

Julie From Inmates