From Inmates to Playdates

Posts Tagged ‘my funeral’

Well look who’s arriving late to the party!

Better late than never, I guess.

First off, I hate to be late.

For anything.

If this is your first visit to ‘From Inmates To Playdates’, I’d like to welcome you to my humble abode. I dish out a daily dose of crazy here everyday and I’d love for you to have a look around. I am a quirky girl who loves Jesus, her fellas, the Saturn Sky, and Dr. Pepper.

That whole Inmates to Playdates thing up there? Before hanging up my handcuffs to be a stay-at-home-mom, I was an inmate counselor in Jail. Oh, and just for the record, I did not find love in the jail, I only worked there. Now that we have that out of the way you can breath a sigh of relief and read on.

I am 36 and am married to McDaddy who happens to be the most patient man on the planet. He is a control systems genius engineer and also a member of the WV Air National Guard. He was recently deployed for six months to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba where he diligently protected our butts, our freedoms and whatever else needed protecting. I talk about him often here at Inmates and I am so proud to be his wife.

Oh, and did I mention he is hot?

I have a seven-year old son named Stevie. He is a cool kid who loves Transformers, Lightning McQueen, Monster Trucks and his beloved DS. He is one of the sweetest kids I’ve ever known and I’m not at all just saying that because he is mine. He is thoughtful, polite and loving. (He’s also very smart but I don’t want to sound like one of those mothers).

I also have a four-year old son named Alex. He has two speeds. Asleep. And wide open. It is comical to watch him in action. He loves to run, jump, climb and bulldoze. He also likes Transformers, Lightning McQueen, Monster Trucks and his Leapster. He is sweet, stubborn independent and cute as a button.

My boys are the joy of my life and I am thankful for the privilege of being a [stay-at-home] mother. Even though I always thought I would have a daughter, I am thrilled that my boys are the best of friends and wonderful playmates.

As my tag-line reads, I am a self proclaimed princess who gave up a career in corrections for stay-at-home-mom royalty. I have a truck-load of quirks and I am gifted in the art of conversation. Just ask anybody. I enjoyed my time in jail very much but I enjoy motherhood even more.

This blog is like a bag of chex mix. Sometimes you get a boring ole raisin and sometimes you get the M&M. Either way, it is my life.

I have talked at length about my funeral, the fun I had while riding in a police car, watching an embalming, and even pap smears. Some days I talk about my sweet boys, my hubby or my Jesus.

Feel free to look around and enjoy my daily dose of crazy. Believe me, there is plenty to go around. Thanks for hopping by.

Carry On!

A big thanks to Robin over at Pensieve for hosting this shin-dig!

It occurred to me recently that some of you folks are newcomers to this here blog.

For that reason, I thought it might be fun to visit a few of my favorite posts. I’m diggin’ deep in the archives today because that seems easier than filtering out some of the nonsense rolling around in my brain tonight.

Enjoy the crazy. Clearly, there is plenty to go around.

1. The one where I watch an embalming – What I Learned At The Funeral Home.

2. The letter I wrote to the naked lady – Y Are You Naked?

3. Very often here at From Inmates To Playdates, I write letters to crazy people. On days that I’m feeling, oh, I don’t know, particularly crazy, I might even write a letter to myself. – Dear Me.

4. The longest post ever and one you’ll certainly want to read if you’ve ever considered getting Mirena – A Long, Windy Tail.

5.  A post about what ails me – The Heels And The Spurs.

6. My first trip to The Price Is Right - The Price Is Right, But The Fashion Was All Wrong.

7.  About my time in Jail - I Spent Five Years In Jail. Really, I did!

8. One of the few times I’ve blogged about the Saturn Sky – This Is How I Roll!

9. Kicking deployment in the booty, after six long months – Taking A Deep Breath.

10. Topless and Shoeless - all in the same night.

11. The crappy job you’ll have if your child swallows a coin. – This Too Shall Pass.

12. Because I’m a control freak, I’ve planned every detail of my funeral. – Over My Dead Body.

13. Visiting McDaddy during his deployment on Guantanamo Bay – It Don’t GTMO Better Than This!

Happy Thursday, y’all!

And happy reading, too!

I am a girl who loves to sit in her big, blue, bloggy chair every evening while watching The Young And The Restless and writing the next day’s blog post.

I am a control freak and, as a result, constantly update my funeral plans monthly.

I am a girl who has a difficult time saying “NO” and, because of that frequently run myself ragged.

I am a girl with sore teeth because I just ate an ice-cream sandwich. Even after reminding myself that it was too late to eat.

I am a girl who would do anything to protect her babies.

I am a girl who spent most of the day trying to figure out how to pack for a four-day trip to Florida for a beach wedding in a 9x14x22 carry-on bag just to save $70.00.

I am a girl who doesn’t mind cleaning, but I hate dusting.

I am a girl who runs my Roomba every.single.day.

I am a girl who takes crazy to new heights.

I am a girl who dreams of being a big-time motivational speaker. All I need is something to speak about.

I am a girl who plays Words With Friends more than she should. I also play way later than I should.

I am a girl who hasn’t yet embraced the whole texting revolution. Probably because it costs an extra $5.00 on my cell plan and I think that is nonsense when you consider the iPhone data plan cost.

I am a girl who loves Jesus and strives to please Him. Sadly, I fall way short.

I am a girl who is about 2.3 years behind on my Scrapbooking endeavor.

I am a girl who has more shoes than any one person needs. Yet I keep buying.

I am a girl who loves to sleep late.

I am a girl who is taller than most women I know.

I am a very happy girl 91% of the time. The other 9% of the time, I fight to keep my temper in check.

I am a girl who sucks at math. For that reason, the numbers in that last line may or may not be correct.

I am a girl who neglects to floss her teeth as often as she should.

I am a girl who is looking forward to spending four glorious days in Florida with McDaddy.

Welcome to another edition of Not Me! Monday, where I share all the things I didn’t do this week. Or in this case, this past weekend.

It was not me who spent the weekend loving all over my nieces and nephews, who were visiting from all over. There are 15 babies on McDaddy’s side under the age of seven. Four of them were not in attendance this weekend.

I’d like for you to meet Annabelle. And no, before you ask, she is not playing with a blackberry. Nope, not her, because who would allow a 10 month old to play with their blackberry?

 This cutie is destined to be the class clown in this get-up. It may or may not be Alex hiding behind the crazy hair and glasses.

 It wasn’t me who smiled every time this sweet little fella threw a ball which was pretty much every minute of the day.
(Noah’s daddy is McDaddy’s brother.) Isn’t he a cutie?

It wasn’t me who held this little two-week-old-lovey every possible second this past weekend because holding her might make me wish I had a newborn again, for a second or ten.

Oh, and there’s no way I photo-shopped a wrinkle and a big, honkin’ zit from this picture of my face. Nope! Not me.

 I did NOT bust out laughing at these two as they made “scary faces” for my camera. This is Noah again, and another nephew, Kirklen.

And here’s little Miss Lovey again. I met Gwen Geordanna for the first time on Friday. She weighed in at a whopping 5 pounds, and a few odd ounces. Look at those cute little toes.

I told you there were lots of girls, right? Look at this sweet thing. This is Kirklen’s little sister, Kessa.

I did not immediately fall in love with this sweet girl and her big, beautiful, blue eyes. She is a fire-cracker and I wish, wish, wish she lived closer than New Hampshire. (By the way, I call Annabelle a fire-cracker because she was born on July 4th.)

 These two cute little gals are sisters to Kirklen, and Kessa. Not surprisingly they have “K” names too, Kamme, and Kalli.

Oh, and since I do not have a dramatic bone in my body, there is no way that I made McDaddy promise to re- read my funeral post on the off chance that something might go wrong during a minor surgical procedure I’m having today.

Nope. Not me. Never.

But if something happens and I don’t make it through, y’all can find me kickin’ it in Heaven. I’ll be the one sitting on the Emerald Fountain with a swiss cake roll and a Dr. Pepper.

Like I said, not dramatic. At. All.

Happy Monday!

Welcome to my little corner of the blogosphere. I’m so glad you’ve stopped by. If you are one of my eight loyal blog fans, I appreciate you and hope you learn something about me you don’t already know. If this is your first visit to ‘From Inmates To Playdates’, I sure welcome you to visit any ole’ time. I just love having company. There’s copious amounts of Dr. Pepper in the fridge and there just might be a hidden box of Tagalongs in the corner cabinet.

For starters, I started blogging in June, 2006 for myself and 200 of my closest friends on mySpace. After deciding that me and this bloggy gig could be a happy couple, I decided to take the bloggy plunge and join the blogosphere. That whole Inmates to Playdates title? Well, let me just say that my title has nothing to do with me finding love in jail. Before hanging up my handcuffs to be a stay-at-home-mommy, I spent my time walking the hallowed halls of the Regional Jail as an inmate counselor.

I am 36 years old and I am married to McDaddy who happens to be the most patient man on the planet. He is a control systems genius engineer and also a member of the WV Air National Guard. He was recently deployed for six-months at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba where he diligently protected our butts, our freedoms and whatever else needed protecting . I talk about him often here at Inmates and I am so proud to be his wife. Oh, and did I mention he is hot? Because, clearly, he is.

I have a seven-year-old son named Stevie. He is a cool kid who loves Lightning McQueen, Monster Trucks and his beloved DS. He is one of the sweetest kids I’ve ever known and I’m not at all just saying that because he is mine. He is thoughtful, polite and loving. (He’s also very smart but I don’t want to sound like one of those mothers).

I also have a four-year-old son named Alex. He has two speeds. Asleep. And wide open. It is comical to watch him in action. He loves to run, jump, climb and bulldoze. He also likes Lightning McQueen, Monster Trucks, Tom & Jerry, and any little trinket he can carry around in his hands all. day. long. He is sweet, independent and cute as a button.

My boys are the joy of my life and I am thankful for the privilege of being a [stay-at-home] mother. Even though I always thought I would have a daughter, I am thrilled that my boys are the best of friends and wonderful playmates.

As my tagline says, I am a self proclaimed princess who gave up a career in corrections for stay-at-home-mom royalty. I have a truck-load of quirks and I am gifted in the art of conversation. Just ask me. I enjoyed my time in jail very much but I enjoy motherhood even more. I love the Saturn Sky, Reality TV, and Dr. Pepper. I am also a Longaberger consultant and scrapbooker.

This blog is like a bag of chex mix. Sometimes you get a boring ole raisin and sometimes you get a M&M. Either way, when enjoyed together, it is a great mix.

I have talked at length about my funeral, watching an embalming and even pap smears. Some days I talk about my sweet boys, my hubby or my Jesus.

I host a fun bloggy carnival on Tuesdays called What I Learned This Week. I’d love for you to join me sometime.

Although I realize you have a lot of stops to make, I invite you to nose around and enjoy my daily dose of crazy. Believe me, there is plenty to go around.

Thanks for stopping by From Inmates To Playdates! And thanks to the gals over at 5 Minutes For Mom for hosting this soiree.

Oh, and I almost forgot about the hundreds of prizes being offered at the party. Hear me, I said hundreds!!!

My top three prize choices, in order of preference are:

1. The Grand Prize offered by 5 Minutes For Mom - A Toshiba Satellite Laptop

2. #39 – Be My Guest Certificate – Good for $250.00 (2 night stay) at Hilton Garden Inn – Provided by The Hilton Garden Inn.

3. #63 – Razor Rip Rider provided by Busy Mommy Media.

Here’s a list of some other really great prizes that I would LOVE to win!

40, 46, 11, 6, 68, 72, 75, 76, 101, USC 3, and USC 13.

And if I’m being honest, winning ANY of the prizes would thrill me!

Welcome to my little corner of the blogosphere. I’m so glad you’ve stopped by. If you are one of my eight loyal blog fans, I appreciate you and hope you learn something about me you don’t already know. If you are new here, I sure welcome you to visit any ole’ time. I just love having company.

For starters, I started blogging in June, 2006 for myself and 200 of my closest friends on mySpace. After deciding that me and this bloggy gig could be a happy couple, I decided to take the bloggy plunge and join the blogosphere. That whole Inmates to Playdates title? Well, let me just say that my title has nothing to do with me finding love in jail. Before hanging up my handcuffs to be a stay-at-home-mom, I was an inmate counselor at a Regional Jail.

I am 36 and I am married to McDaddy who happens to be the most patient man on the planet. He is a control systems genius engineer and also a member of the WV Air National Guard. He was recently deployed for six-months at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba where he diligently protected our butts, our freedoms and whatever else needed protecting . I talk about him often here at Inmates and I so proud to be his wife. Oh, and did I mention he is hot?

I have a seven-year-old son named Stevie. He is a cool kid who loves Lightning McQueen, Monster Trucks and his beloved DS. He is one of the sweetest kids I’ve ever known and I’m not at all just saying that because he is mine. He is thoughtful, polite and loving. (He’s also very smart but I don’t want to sound like one of those mothers).

I also have a four-year-old son named Alex. He has two speeds. Asleep. And wide open. It is comical to watch him in action. He loves to run, jump, climb and bulldoze. He also likes Lightning McQueen, Monster Trucks, Tom & Jerry, and his Leapster. He is sweet, independent and cute as a button.

My boys are the joy of my life and I am thankful for the privilege of being a [stay-at-home] mother. Even though I always thought I would have a daughter, I am thrilled that my boys are the best of friends and wonderful playmates.

As my tagline says, I am a self proclaimed princess who gave up a career in corrections for stay-at-home-mom royalty. I have a truck-load of quirks and I am gifted in the art of conversation. Just ask anybody. I enjoyed my time in jail very much but I enjoy motherhood even more. I love the Saturn Sky, Reality TV, and Dr. Pepper. I am also a Longaberger consultant and scrapbooker.

This blog is like a bag of chex mix. Sometimes you get a boring ole raisin and sometimes you get the M&M. Either way, when enjoyed together, it is a great mix.

I have talked at length about my funeral, watching an embalming and even pap smears. Some days I talk about my sweet boys, my hubby or my Jesus.

Although I realize you have a lot of stops to make, I invite you to nose around and enjoy my daily dose of crazy. Believe me, there is plenty to go around.

It was nice meeting you! I hope to see you soon! Many thanks to Household6 Divafor hosting this party for those of us who couldn’t make it to blissdom.

It’s time for another fun edition of Where Did You Come From?  Amused, as always!

Check it out!

1. Willmar, Minnesota arrived from google.com on “One Of Those Dreaded Christmas Letters” by searching for christmas letters that people have written.

• Welcome, Willmar! I’m so glad you stopped by! I hope you enjoyed my past Christmas letters. Yes, I am one of those people who send the annual Christmas letter. Don’t hate me. I do hope you’ll continue to drop in!

2. State College, Pennsylvania arrived from google.com on “Over My Dead Body” by searching for longaberger casket.

• Well, this proves that just maybe I’m not as crazy as I thought. State College, P-A, IF you happen to find a Longaberger basket casket, could you let me know, please? I have made it very clear to McDaddy that IF a Longaberger casket basket is not available, I want to be buried in the very best – a solid mahogany casket. Notice I said solid & mahogany, not pressed & wood. Oh, and if you’re interested, you can read all about my funeral plans, right here.

3. Deltona, Florida arrived from google.com on “God’s Word – From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for god’s promises for inmates.

• Hey Deltona, Florida, guess what? God cares for you and cares about you! Hold tight to His promises, cling to His word, and know that He will meet you where you are! I hope you seek Him during this difficult time in your life! 

4. Gresham, Oregon arrived from google.com on “Wow! That’s weird. – From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for child swallowed tip of plastic fork.

• What’s up, Gresham? I’ve never had a child to swallow the tip of a plastic fork. However. However, I suspect it’s just as crappy searching for the plastic tip of the fork as it is for a penny, which by the way my child swallowed. Ahem! Welcome to the crappy club, sister.

5. Indianapolis, Indiana arrived from bing.com on “Wet T-Shirt Contest” by searching for t-shirt wet contest.

• Seriously, this whole Wet T-shirt contest post has sent me tons of visitors on Google. Indianapolis, I’m sure you were disappointed about MY wet t-shirt post. There were 15 or so of us gals playing a game at a Ladies Retreat attempting to thaw a frozen t-shirt faster than the other team. Yes, as a matter of fact, we do know how to party!

6. Santa Cruz, El Beni arrived from search.yahoo.com on “2009 May” by searching for rotator flight out of gtmo.

• Hello Santa Cruz, I’m so glad you’re here! My hope is that you do not have a loved one deployed at GTMO. However, if you do, you should totally make the trip. Despite all that is happening there, it is a beautiful place. Me and my sweet boys spent a wonderful week there while McDaddy was deployed over there. Good luck to you!!!

7. Sylvan Lake, Alberta arrived from google.ca on “Stupid Cold Sores” by searching for stupid cold sore.

• Hello Sylvan, cold sores suck. Period. Oh, and their stupid, too.

8. Sacramento, California arrived from google.com on “Stupid Cold Sores” by searching for cold sores are stupid.

• Hi Sacramento, Ditto to you on the cold sores. Stupid. Sucky.

9. Ypsilanti, Michigan arrived from google.com on “2009 January 03″ by searching for personalized plates ideas saturn sky.

• Yikes, hey Ypsilanti (sheesh, that’s a tough one!). First, if you happen to work for GM and are searching for a personalized plate for the new Saturn Sky that y’all plan to giveme, please, let me give you some ideas – 1. TOPLESS (ha! sorry, I had to!), 2. My Sky, 3. Gr8Sky, 4. SxySky, 5. Gr8Sky, 6. SeeYa, 7. Blessed, 8. James4 2, or just anything at all you want to put on it would be fine with me! *crossing fingers!*  

10. Mandeville, Louisiana arrived from google.com on “Thursday Thirteen – 13 Vehicles We’ve Owned” by searching for how to bleed brakes for a 1996 toyota camry.

• Mandeville, Louisiana, I’m sorry to say that you probably didn’t find what you were looking for as I know nothing of the bleeding of the brakes. Now McDaddy on the other hand, he could tell you all you need to know about the brakes and the bleeding. Interesting enough though, I loved my 1996 Toyota Camry. It was a great ride.

11. Cincinnati, Ohio arrived from google.com on “Thursday Thirteen – Can “U” Do It?” by searching for What can u do with a spatula.

• Hi Cincinnati! Um, I must admit that I don’t do much with a spatula because I don’t spend any more time than necessary in my kitchen. However, my top uses for a spatula would be scraping mashed potatoes from the bowl or cake mix from the bowl. Unless you are McDaddy who mistakenly calls a turner, a spatula, but don’t hold that against him. He’s a good guy even though he gets a bit confused about kitchen utensils.

12. Syracuse, New York arrived from google.com on “Wet T-Shirt Contest” by searching for 2009 Nap Wet T Shirt Contest.

• Okay, so I have no idea what Nap Wet T Shirt Contest is, but I can tell you that 4-5 per day end up here on my doorstep searching for that very thing. I tried to hook up over at Google, but something told me to turn back, so, Syracuse, if you’re still here, can you fill me in? Please?

13. Costa Mesa, California arrived from google.com on “From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for julie little lowes.

• Hey Costa Mesa, how goes it? I have no idea who Julie Little Lowes is, but I can tell you that there’s not a whole lot of little on this Julie unless you’re talking about my math skills. Oh, and I did go to the Lowes over the weekend.

Happy Thursday, y’all!

Not sure if MckMama will be posting a Not Me! Monday today because she is on hosting the MckCruise and I suspect the Not Me! Monday post is the last thing on her mind.

However.

I am not on a cruise today, much less the MckCruise with MckMama for-goodness-sake, so I, will be posting a Not Me! Monday because y’all there are a lot of things I did not do this weekend.

I’ll try to keep this short and sweet, but y’all know how I am.

It was not me who cheered like a school girl as McDaddy played in a church basketball tournament over the weekend.

It also wasn’t me who arrived home an hour later with a massive headache, the likes of which I hadn’t experienced for a long time!

And because of the massive headache, I did not dig out the handy-dandy blood pressure monitor to discover that my blood pressure was 204/185.

Because clearly, that would have been very dangerous.

The next morning, I did not wake up with a massive headache thank goodness, but if you think I was out of the woods, just wait my friends. 

I did not finally decide to call a Doctor after many facebook friends (and my next-door-neighbor-nurse) convinced me that my blood pressure was dangerously high.

And I did not contemplate my funeral planning in my head as I waited for the Doctor to call me back, because I’ve never even thought about my funeral. Nor have I ever talked about my funeral on my blog. (Ahem!)

After an hour of not hearing from my Doctor, I did not mention to McDaddy that maybe we should go to the Urgent Care for some urgent care of my blood pressure.

And while we were at Urgent Care, I did not remind McDaddy about my wishes for a solid mahogany casket because again, no funeral planning for me.

After an EKG, I was not more convinced than ever that yes, indeed, I was dying because after all the gal administering the EKG mentioned something about bundles and blockages.

Within minutes of the EKG, it definitely wasn’t me who found herself being whisked through the lobby of the Urgent Care on a stretcher with the overwhelming urge to holler, “Wish me luck, suckers!” to those waiting in the lobby.

It also wasn’t me who spent five hours in Bay #13 in the ER hinting to urging McDaddy to take a picture of me hooked up to all the wires and monitors for the blog. And, it also wasn’t me who answered the following questions 3,482 times by 213 healthcare providers.

• Are you having chest pains?
• Are you having blurred vision?
• Are you having chest palpitations?
• On a scale of  1-10, rate your pain.
• Are you having urinary issues?
• Are your feet and legs swollen?

And finally, it is not me who admits that I spent all that time worrying about my funeral for nothing.

——

You can check over at MckMama’s place to see if she is hosting a Not Me! Monday this week.

Earlier this week, Jo-Lynne over at Musings of a Housewife mentioned she would be doing a fun bloggy carnival recap of 2009 using the first sentence (or two because I come from a long line of loud) to compile a year in review post. I thought it would be fun to play along.

As I think back on 2009 and the hand it dealt, I remember lots of tears. Ten days into the year, I was shocked to learn that a dear friend had lost his life in a car accident. Three weeks later, our family embarked on a difficult deployment journey. It was not easy, but we made it and I remember to thank God daily for togetherness. 2009 also gave us a new niece (Lydia Kate) along with two more nieces on the way!

In some cases (like January) I had to move on to the second post because the first “sentence” was just a word like WOW!  or some kind of tangent (ahem!). I also discovered that I use some r-e-a-l-l-y long sentences so, you’ll have to bear with me!

 JANUARY

I am so happy to report that all manner of Christmas decorations have been stowed away in our loft for another year and my big, blue, bloggy [BBB] chair is back in place at the McResidence. I am coming to you from the BBB Chair and tonight I thought I’d write a post about my funeral.

Ah, my funeral. Must. Read. Now.

FEBRUARY

Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice.  Psalm 55:17

Day 2 of deployment. It’s going to be a L-O-N-G six months people.

MARCH

Things not to ask me about today.

Sheesh. I’m guessing from the tone in this post, it is a very long list.

APRIL

Typically, when I have a problem, I consult nag McDaddy.

Oh, Internets, I’m not so sure I would call it nagging, but McDaddy probably would!

MAY

Three months and one day ago, my boys and I watched as McDaddy boarded a plane to fulfill a 6-month deployment responsibility with the WV Air National Guard.

Easily, one of the worst days of my life.

JUNE

I am so excited to announce that I finally completed a project that I’ve been wanting to do since we moved into our house seven years ago.

The finished project looks awesome!

JULY

Wow.

Obviously, when the idea of Thursday Thirteen – The Alphabet edition popped into my head 20 some odd weeks ago, I gave little thought to what might happen when it was time for me to come up with thirteen words that begin with the letter U.

Because seriously?

 Have you ever thought about “U” words?

(I know, I know! That’s a lot more than just the first sentence. What can I say? I love to tease. After all I did do 26 weeks of Thursday Thirteens going through the entire alphabet during the stupid deployment!)

AUGUST

We’ve had six months of tears, doubt and massive heartache. I didn’t even mind fighthing with 30 red, white and blue balloons because they were all tangled together and because the wind was blowing like mad.

Folks, after six long months, IT IS OVER!

SEPTEMBER

I am the most organized person I know.

May I introduce you to Braggy McBraggerson?

OCTOBER

I’ve got a busy weekend ahead of me and I have about 4,387 things on my to-do list.

Apparently, October 1, 2009 was a pretty typical day in the life of me!

NOVEMBER

This was hardly a typical shopping experience.

You can say that again!

DECEMBER

It is 10:25pm on Monday night. I am sitting up in my bed instead of my big, blue, bloggy chair because there are three people sleeping in my living room.

Just another post about some Things I Learned This Week.

And if that’s not enough crazy for you (and also because this will serve as my Thursday Thirteen post this week) you can go read about some other really weird stuff.

Thanks for stopping by Inmates! 

Although I have no idea what 2010 has in store for the McFamily, I am sure of God’s grace and mercy in our lives today and everyday!

Happy New Year, Internets!

I’ve got a busy weekend ahead of me and I have about 4,387 things on my to-do list.

Next week, doesn’t look much better.

I need about three good days with nothing to do.

Anyone? Anyone?

Beuler?

Okay, I didn’t think so.

Anyway, I was looking at my feed yesterday and I noticed quite a few new ‘direct’ hits. A direct hit means that folks come to ‘From Inmates To Playdates’ because they have me listed in their favorites and they click right on my web address.

So, I’d like to give a shout out to Vail, Arizona,  and Leavenworth, Kansas who stop by Inmates just about everyday. I feel like I know y’all! I sure do appreciate that you share part of your day with me! Same goes for Shelbyville, Kentucky (Hi Bill and Deb!) and Blountville, Tennessee.

Howdy also to the Jeepinwv.com peeps who stopped by yesterday to read the post where Stevie talked about our their JEEP.

I enjoyed meeting the rest of y’all too. You know, the ones. The ones who happen upon Inmates searching for stuff. Stuff like embalming, swallowing pennies and latin freaks. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate Google sending people my way. Really, I do! It makes me smile!

Take this one for instance…

• Atlanta, Georgia arrived from google.com on “A Penny… For Your Thoughts : From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for something funny to say when a child swallows a penny.

Hello, Atlanta. Welcome to From Inmates To Playdates. As much as I’d love to share something funny to say when a child swallows a penny, I can’t think of anything right now that would be funny. Because seriously, if your child swallows a penny, it will be anything but funny. It will be crappy. Because remember? I had to poke through poop for ten days looking for the penny and then after ten days, I never found it and then we did the x-ray only to be told that the penny was gone. Um, nothing funny about that. Sorry. But thanks for stopping by! I wish you all the luck in the world with that penny.

• Fargo, North Dakota arrived from google.com on “A Man With A Plan : From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for doolittle’s mashed potatoes nutrition .

What’s up Fargo? I remember the post about Doolittle’s and their yummy mashed potatoes. I have only thing to say about Doolittle’s. Go. There. Now. and enjoy every stinkin’ bite of those yummy mashed potatoes because they are to die for. Okay, not really die. But they are delish. Oh,  and thanks for stopping by!

• Rockford, Illinois arrived from google.com on “Nosiness : From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for the positive of nosiness

What’s shakin’ Rockford?  Um, if you find the postive of nosiness, would ya mind sharing it with me? Because McDaddy rats on me all the time for being so dang nosey. Or is it nosy? I never know. Shoot. All I know is that there probably isn’t a postive to it unless you can count that I could pretty much tell you some really weird stuff because of my ‘condition.’ I was wired that way. What can I say?

• Bombay, Maharashtra arrived from google.co.in on “Just So You Know : From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for i am tired of your tantrums letter to my boyfriend.

Hey Bombay, I’m so glad you’ve stopped by. I have two words for you. RUN. FAST. If your man is having tantrums as a boyfriend, girl, it will only get worse when he’s a husband. Kick that cat to the curb. And don’t help him up. Good luck to you.

• Terre Haute, Indiana arrived from ask.com on “Nosiness : From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for where can i take sexy pictures in terre haute for my husband as an anniversary gift.

Um, Terre Haute, there’s one in every crowd. I would suggest you moverightalong because um, me and McDaddy, we don’t take those types of pics around here. I’m not saying McDaddy wouldn’t like it (ahem!) I’m saying it doesn’t happen. Um, and I wouldn’t have a clue about Terre Haute, so I’m sorry to say you won’t find the answers here at Inmates. Unless you’re looking for pictures of that sexy Saturn Sky and if that’s the case, you will find them in abundance, because hello? I triple heart the Saturn Sky.

• Fleetwood, Pennsylvania arrived from google.com on “From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for swollen eyeball mouse feces allergy.

Welcome, Fleetwood, Pennsylvania! I do remember writing a post about a certain rodent helping himself (herself?) to our snack basket. But um, I don’t remember mentioning the eyeball, the feces or the allergy. I hate that for you because seriously, it sounds very painful. I wish you the best as you search for the whole healing the swollen eyeball mouse feces allergy. Man, that’s a mouthfull. Thanks for coming by!

• Reidsville, North Carolina arrived from google.com on “What I Learned At The Funeral Home : From Inmates to Playdates” by searching for cut eyelids funeral.

Reidsville, North Carolina, what’s up? Um, I did watch an embalming and there was lots to talk about, but I know nothing of cut eyelids. Actually, the mortician will put a contact lens in your eye with little grooves on it to keep the eye from opening. You can read all about that over here. It was all very interesting.

• Bryan, Texas arrived from google.com on “Thursday Thirteen – Thirteen Things Stevie learned in Kindergarten” by searching for lessons u learned in kindergarten and first grade.

Hello, Bryan, Texas! I can tell you that I have a little one in first grade and I learned something from him today. Johnny Appleseed’s real name was Johnny Chapman. I did not know that. I must have been talking asleep the day they taught that in first grade. Stevie brought home a drawing he did just today about Johnny Appleseed. I found it interesting that I’ve lived 35  years on this earth and didn’t know that. My six year old on the other hand, well, he taught me something today.

• Huntsville, Texas arrived from google.com on “What Deployment Taught Me” by searching for symbol for deployment.

Hi, Huntsville. We just went through the whole deployment thing. If I had to choose one symbol for deployment it would probably be a teardrop. We did a six-month sentence deployment and I cried approximately 168/180 days, but I’m a big cry-baby, so maybe you should talk to someone else about a deployment symbol.

Google, I appreciate you sending these fine folks my way! It makes me smile to find out what people are searching for. It reminds me to write about some weird stuff from time to time.

Enjoy your weekend, y’all.

Thanks for stopping by!