From Inmates to Playdates

Posts Tagged ‘Quirks’

Welcome to my little corner of the blogosphere. I’m so glad you’ve stopped by. If you are one of my eight loyal blog fans, I appreciate you and hope you learn something about me you don’t already know. If you are new here, I sure welcome you to visit any ole’ time. I just love having company.

For starters, I started blogging in June, 2006 for myself and 200 of my closest friends on mySpace. After deciding that me and this bloggy gig could be a happy couple, I decided to take the bloggy plunge and join the blogosphere. That whole Inmates to Playdates title? Well, let me just say that my title has nothing to do with me finding love in jail. Before hanging up my handcuffs to be a stay-at-home-mom, I was an inmate counselor at a Regional Jail.

I am 36 and I am married to McDaddy who happens to be the most patient man on the planet. He is a control systems genius engineer and also a member of the WV Air National Guard. He was recently deployed for six-months at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba where he diligently protected our butts, our freedoms and whatever else needed protecting . I talk about him often here at Inmates and I so proud to be his wife. Oh, and did I mention he is hot?

I have a seven-year-old son named Stevie. He is a cool kid who loves Lightning McQueen, Monster Trucks and his beloved DS. He is one of the sweetest kids I’ve ever known and I’m not at all just saying that because he is mine. He is thoughtful, polite and loving. (He’s also very smart but I don’t want to sound like one of those mothers).

I also have a four-year-old son named Alex. He has two speeds. Asleep. And wide open. It is comical to watch him in action. He loves to run, jump, climb and bulldoze. He also likes Lightning McQueen, Monster Trucks, Tom & Jerry, and his Leapster. He is sweet, independent and cute as a button.

My boys are the joy of my life and I am thankful for the privilege of being a [stay-at-home] mother. Even though I always thought I would have a daughter, I am thrilled that my boys are the best of friends and wonderful playmates.

As my tagline says, I am a self proclaimed princess who gave up a career in corrections for stay-at-home-mom royalty. I have a truck-load of quirks and I am gifted in the art of conversation. Just ask anybody. I enjoyed my time in jail very much but I enjoy motherhood even more. I love the Saturn Sky, Reality TV, and Dr. Pepper. I am also a Longaberger consultant and scrapbooker.

This blog is like a bag of chex mix. Sometimes you get a boring ole raisin and sometimes you get the M&M. Either way, when enjoyed together, it is a great mix.

I have talked at length about my funeral, watching an embalming and even pap smears. Some days I talk about my sweet boys, my hubby or my Jesus.

Although I realize you have a lot of stops to make, I invite you to nose around and enjoy my daily dose of crazy. Believe me, there is plenty to go around.

It was nice meeting you! I hope to see you soon! Many thanks to Household6 Divafor hosting this party for those of us who couldn’t make it to blissdom.

After years and years of debate the debate rages on.

Many a marriage has suffered due to the debate. Or something like that.

Head over to my Review Page to enter to win a Cottonelle Gift Basket from Mom Bloggers!

I’ve been keeping a running tally of things I DEFINITELY DID NOT DO THIS WEEK.

Because y’all, there are so many it was hard to keep track.

First, while hosting (along with McDaddy, of course) an impromptu get-together at our house after church last Sunday night it most definitely wasn’t me who noticed this

(a mere two hours after our guests arrived) in the middle of our great room for all the world (and 14 of our closest friends) to see. It also wasn’t me who then decided to take a picture because? Hello, did you know I have a blog?

Oh! My! Word! Internets!

There is a very important lesson to be learned here my friends (if, I HAD IN FACT, done such a thing!). When you know in your heart that you should do something RIGHT NOW (like taking a bra to the laundry hamper instead of throwing it in a basket in your living room because you are lazy tired!)  it is probably a good idea to do it right then to avoid embarassment.

[Funny thing is, the bra is lying on top of a pillow that says "Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts we can give!"]

Next, it most certainly was not me who laughed until I almost peed my pants (for heaven’s sake) because I discovered that my friend and I had gone shopping while she was wearing this mess,

Another important lesson here, folks. Do NOT under any circumstances get dressed in the dark.

Because I am so together and organized and whathaveyou, there is no way I took Christmas Eve pictures of my sweet boys without first checking to make sure that their mouths were clean.

Sheesh.

And lastly, it was not me who cleaned off the top of the fridge to find nine years worth of dust calendars because seriously? Why would I need to keep those?

I guess its on the off-chance that the FBI might need to know where I was on May 3, 2000. Or perhaps I might forget what day in 2002, I was placed on bed-rest. Or maybe I may need to be reminded what day McDaddy deployed in 2009.

It’s all there, folks.

Every single bit of it.

Oh, and just in case you are wondering, there is no way I wiped those suckers off and placed them right back on top of the fridge because that would be very silly. (Ahem!)

I hope y’all have a great Monday!

Head over to MckMama’s place for more things that people probably did not do!

I have been thinking all day about what I would write about for this week’s edition of  Works For Me Wednesday!

Then, after we arrived home from The Chipmunk Movie, The Inflatable Jumping Place, Dinner and the Grocery Store, I started swarping. And by swarping, I mean I took everything out of one cabinet and started moving stuff willy nilly into another cabinet. That led to cleaning out another cabinet and that resulted in my cleaning out another cabinet.

After an hour of moving, changing, eliminating and combining, I decided that organization really works for me! Not only do my cabinets look better, they also make me feel better! Funny how that works.

I guess the first lesson that works for me would be to blog first, then swarp.

Otherwise, you’ll be firing up the laptop at 11:03 pm EST wishing you hadn’t spent so long feeding the OCD monster organizing your kitchen cabinets.

Earlier in the day, I spent 73 minutes on the phone with Doctor’s offices and Insurance people in an attempt to sort out bills, claims, EOBs and receipts. I just about lost my sanity, my temper, and my cool. I generally like to take care of those things as soon as they come in, but apparently I’ve been so very busy the past month that I have forsaken my insurance duties. If I had any sense at all however, I would not have waited a total of four weeks because seriously, one can only take so many prompts before she slowly loses her ever-lovin mind, throws her hands up and says I’m done! Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful that we have insurance and I’m thankful that we still have a secondary insurance thanks to McDaddy’s six-month sentence deployment, but my lands there are so many friggin’ hoops.

[On a totally unrelated note, because my thoughts are as scattered as my kitchen cabinets, the stupid phone systems that require you to punch in a bunch of numbers, verify your legal name and offer up your first born before allowing you to talk to a living, breathing person DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE WORK FOR ME! And why in the heck, must you verify the information a second time once the live person answers the phone. Now, if they had an option that said, Press one to speak to someone who speaks plain English, I'd be all over that!]

As I said, Organziation works for me!

Head over to We Are THAT Family for hundreds of other things that might work for you!

It is almost midnight.

We had an impromptu Christmas get-together after church. And by impromptu, I mean we had about twelve minutes between the time we walked through the door until our first set of friends showed up. Which meant that objects were thrown willy nilly into our bedroom, baskets of laundry were shoved in our closet and the pile of debris from the kitchen counter-top was tossed onto our bed. I’m sure our friends were not coming over to see if our house was tidy which is good because clearly, we had no idea that we were having a get-together until I invited the first couple, and then another and another and then another. There were fourteen of us total. We feasted on chips and cheese, cookies from the cookie exchange and some sweet treats I made with a couple of gals for Christmas. As always, we enjoyed fellowshipping with our buddies.

Anyway, I said all of that to say that this will be short and sweet.

If that’s possible.

I thought I’d share with you 13 ornaments from my tree. They are not necessarily my favorites because 98% of them are my favorites. There is pretty much a story behind most of them and if I studied my tree long enough, I could probably tell you which one was missing if you were to remove one.

Please keep in mind that my tree sits in (on ?) a rotating Christmas tree stand, so that might explain why a few of the pictures might not be crisp and clear. About half-way through my picture taking extravaganza, it dawned on me that turning the rotator off would be a good idea.

Anyway.

1. This first one is truly one of my favorites. I purchased it at a little gift shop at Snowshoe which is a ski resort. It was the same year the guy in the room next to ours died. 

2. Another favorite. Stevie made it during his first year in pre-school. It makes me smile.

3. This next one is pretty obvious. I love it because it reminds me “our trip to Europe.” (Spoken in my best English accent, or as English as you can get when you talk like a hick!) You know because I come from royalty and all. (Which explains why there are crowns all over my blog!)

4. This next one was a gift from my friend, Billy Gene (whom I really need to write about someday because OH MY WORD, the story is so sweet, I need to share it someday very soon but for now I’ll just show a picture of the ornament because afterall it is almost midnight!) who sent it the first Christmas after I married McDaddy. (I could go all crazy and photoshopphotobucket edit McDaddy’s name onto it, but that would take time and energy. Neither of which I have right now!) Oh, and did I mention that I love snow snowmen?

5. This next one is just plain funny. It proves my quirkiness. And yes, quirkiness is a real word. Just ask me. No matter where I am, if there is a place to shop, I will find it! [On a perfectly unrelated note, I displayed this ornament last year on my blog. That post recieves many hits each month because apparently there are lots of folks googling the words prison and ornament. Who knew?]

6. Every year, I send about a gazillion Christmas cards complete with a letter and a picture. Each year, I buy a cute family frame and place that year’s Christmas picture inside of it. Sadly, I didn’t think to do this until after McDaddy and I had Stevie. The family pictures are among my favorites. This is the 2007 Official picture of the First McFamily.

7. Before we were married, a girlfriend hosted a Christmas shower for us. We got married in May, however, I thought this was such a sweet idea. I’ve never attended another Christmas themed bridal shower but I would love to. I treasure each gift we recieved (many were ornaments) and could pretty much tell you who each one came from. This Barbie ornament was given to me at the shower by my mama. She is usually attached to an ornament spinner, but for some reason, I have no idea where my spinners are.

8. My absolute favorite ornaments are those made by my boys in their various classes. This one was made in Sunday School at our lovely little church. He would have been 2 years old. That is my nephew Evan peeking around the corner in the silver stocking.

9. Another favorite. Another family Christmas card picture. I believe this one was 2004 although there is a pretty good chance that I am wrong.

10. Another favorite. [Begin rant] If you happen to work for one of those ornament kiosks in the mall (which by the way I would love, because I love decorating ornaments) it is a good idea that you have nice hand-writing. I purchased this from one of those kiosks and when the gal wrote the info on the ornament, it was barely legible. In my sweetest voice, I kindly explained that I wasn’t happy with the writing and she gave me a new ornament. I brought the sucker home, dug out my fine-tip Sharpie and went to town. The ornament will be even more special to Alex someday because it is in my handwriting. [End rant]

11. Each year, McDaddy’s parents buy an official white house ornament for us. Last year, we had the privilege of visiting the White House at Christmastime. I purchased this from the white house gift shop.

12. This next ornaments is one of the newest on our tree. I picked this up at an arts and crafts show. It is made from a lightbulb and I think it is adorable. Capital High is the name of mine and McDaddy’s high school – GO COUGARS!

13. And last, but definitely not least, this one is another favorite. McDaddy and I moved four times the first four years we were married until we purchased our house in 2002. We have four “door” ornaments on our tree, one for every address we’ve had since we were married. [Just in the case you are wondering, I have edited the address from the ornament to protect the safety of the people currently living at our old address. You know, just in case you are a shady character who is stalking my blog looking for a strange house address to rob. It's a strange world we live in people!]

Merry Christmas Eve, folks. That’s all she wrote.

Literally.

You should know that its not easy being crazy.

You should also know that I know that I probably shouldn’t be putting my crazy on parade for the whole world blogosphere to see. Yet, here I am to tell you all about my crazy.

Hopefully, it will explain how it is that I can dish out a daily dose of crazy here on the blog.

1. I like things in perfect symmetry. Not sure why, I just do. Especially the pillows on our couch and bed. And baskets. And trinkets. And, well, everything!

2. My bed is made first thing in the morning. The whole house can be in disarray (I just love that word!) but by crackies my bed will be made.

3. When I use the bathroom in someone’s home, I always look behind the shower curtain.

(Nosey, much?) Told you, I’m plum crazy.

4. Late. Drives. Me. Insane. I triple dipple hate to be late. And no, I have no idea what dipple means.

5. Sometimes, I make up words. Other times, I use real big words incorrectly.

It’s a gift.

6. The glasses in my cupboard are all facing with the sunflowers facing front.

7. The canned food in the cupboard all faces forward with the picture showing.

I never use the word cupboard in real life. Instead, I would say cabinet.

8. I detest clutter and eliminate it whenever possible. That doesn’t necessarily mean there isn’t any clutter in my home, it just means I detest it. Whether its my in-box, my DVR, my recent calls, or my answering machine. I delete anything that is not necessary. Sadly, that is not the case for the green bench in our bedroom. Or the kitchen catch-all counter.

9. I always fold and stack towels with the folds on the same side.

10. I hate trying to fold fitted sheets because they are ridiculous.

11. No matter where I am or what I’m doing, I always have an extra pair of underwear on hand.

Lunatic.

11. I always put my right shoe on first.

12.  I prefer soft drinks in a plastic bottle.

13. I fold a tissue in half before using it.

I guess that’s enough crazy for one day. Grab some crazy to take with you. For sure there is plenty to go around.

Based on the busy statuses on the Facebook on Saturday, it seemed like a busy weekend for sports fans everywhere.

And, I guess now would be a great time to tell you that if you’ve come here looking for some insightful or profound sporting commentary, you’ve come to the wrong place. About the only thing I could say about sporting events is that its typically a good place to get a hot-dog. Besides that, I know nothing about sports or teams except for what I read on the Facebook or what I hear in the news about the WV Mountaineers (who by the way are going to the Gator Bowl!)

What I was referring to up there in that title happens to be nothing more than the stupid heel-spur that I’ve been dealing with for the past few days.

Not that I have ever been guilty of self-diagnosis, because clearly, I know nothing about medical diagnosis except what I get from my friend, Google. However, I had to deal with a stupid heel spur a few years back and believed with all of my heart that I was cured because it has not hurt for many years. In fact, it was pretty much hurting all the time so after a few unsuccessful cortisone shots, the foot Doctor gave (prescribed?) me some of sort of plantar fasciitis foot splint thing to wear to bed each night. Talk about a romantic addition to the bedroom, just look at this monster.

Sadly, the only thing I remember about the heel spur boot is that McDaddy just about booted me out of the bed because I kicked him one or two hundred times in my sleep. It never alleviated any pain, it was just a pain in the butt to put on. Back in the day, it took me more time to strap on the boot and attach the proper orthodontic apparatuses in my mouth than it did to sleep.

After dealing with the stupid heel spur over the weekend though, don’t think I’m above digging the thing out from under our bed and wearing it right to bed. That is if I can get the bazillion layers of dust off of it.

Fun times, y’all. The party’s at my place!

It sucks to get old. Or so I hear. (When I can hear that is!)

And, you’d be mistaken if you thought it was me who hobbled around for three days last week complaining that I could barely move my leg because for some reason it felt as if it weighed a ton because I rarely complain.

(Ahem!)

And since I never complain, it certainly wasn’t me who complained about the difficulty I am having mounting and dismounting the passenger seat of McDaddy’s big honkin truck which come to think of it, is more than likely the probable cause of said leg pain. 

Oh, and I would NEVER, hear me, never, mention the words “I bet its a tumor” when referring to a source of unknown pain like the pain in my leg because that would be silly.

So, seriously, I never do that!

Even though there is a special tube of ear cream in the bathroom, I’m not the one who has to use a dab of that magical ear cream once a week to fend off dry skin that drives me to the point of insanity. A point where I have moments where the itch in my ear could cause me to poke a hole in my ear with a q-tip or a fingernail or whatever other pointy object I can find because that would be just straight-up gross and probably very dangerous, right?

Yes, I thought so!

Because I am only 35 years old (for four more days!) I never have ‘unknown out of nowhere pain’ that makes me wonder what in the heck is going on in this body of mine. But, if you see parts falling off, could you please let me know because between the heel-spur, the aching leg and the stupid dry skin in my ear, chances are I won’t be able to move fast enough to see it or be able to hear it!

Thanks so much!

I guess that’s enough of me not complaining for one day!

Head over to MckMama’s place for more Not Me! Monday posts!

Even though I am a princess, I am easily overwhelmed!

The paper piles on our kitchen counter continue to grow, the bathroom needs cleaning, the laundry is piling up, my inbox is bursting, my DVR is full and the green bench in our bedroom is once again covered in a mountain of clothes.

And instead of dealing with any of it, here I sit on the couch, listening to ‘The View’ blogging the night away because that’s what a good blogger does! She takes one for the team so that all eight of her readers will have their daily dose of crazy. All the while, her blood pressure continues to rise because of the abundance of clutter and subsequent disarray here at the McResidence! And when the clutter breeds and festers, it has the tendency to drive me slowly insane! It’s a lonely train, but I find myself riding it often!

And, as much as I’d love to drive clutter completely out of my life, sadly, I must say that me and the clutter are friends. Everywhere I turn, I am faced with clutter.

Take this for instance….

Straight-Up Clutter.

I got aggravated today at the in-laws because I could not find a blue sharpie that I knew with 100% certainty was in there. I braced myself for what was about to happen. I knew it was going to be ugly. I had no idea the scope of the situation until I dumped the whole kit and kaboodle out right on the couch. I was absolutely appalled! If you look close enough you will see two CARS cars (Boost and The King), eye-drops, approximately 31 receipts, today’s mail, my iPhone charger, a gazillion used tissues (yuck!) and more pens and sharpies that any one person should have, much less in their purse.

So, if you show up here everyday thinking I’ve got it all together, you’d be right!

Sadly, it is ALL TOGETHER in my purse whooping it up having a great, big party!

If my purse is any indication of how busy I’ve been the past few weeks, you can just imagine what our bedroom looks like. I feel like it should be outlined in caution tape. There is stuff absolutely everywhere. It’s a travesty I hope to rectifiy this weekend. Must! Find! Time!

And speaking of time, it was time I did something about my hair, too! Luckily, I was able to snatch a late hair appointment on Wednesday because my hair was getting out of control and the Disorder Hair Gel that I just love did nothing to help the Disorder! Just as I sat down in the chair, Mariah Carey started singing “I Wanna Know What Love Is” on the XM radio. My hairdresser (Frank) and I tried to remember who originally did the song, but neither of us could remember. He decided to consult with a friend, and by ‘consult with a friend’ I think we all I know that I mean Google!” because Google knows everything and because it isn’t effected by age or the plethora of hair product stink. Then, I heard him say, Dear God! Thank you! That was followed by ”Would you look at that”

Not one to be left out, I jumped up and ran to the door to see this,

It is not a fire in the sky. The picture was snapped just after 5pm, right at Sunset.

It was absolutely breathtaking! I immediately thanked God for his handiwork and wondered why I let myself get so bent out of shape over mounds of laundry, stacks of papers, a messy van, crumbs on the table and dust bunnies on the floor a little clutter.

The sunset makes the clutter seem not so important anymore! Hopefully this weekend I’ll be able to get a handle on the clutter.

And ultimately my blood pressure!

Have a great weekend, y’all! We have a busy weekend planned.

I thought I’d shake things up a bit.

For this week’s Thursday Thirteen, I’m going to find 13 entertaining pictures in my photobucket files and share them with you. I’d like to post all the pictures without commentary, but if you know me IRL (as opposed to URL)  you know that I don’t do anything without commentary.

So, I’ll be as brief as possible. This should be fun!

1. This was taken at an Air Force Base in Florida (McDaddy would remember which one and probably what we drove that day). It was the sight of Alex’s much needed first haircut.

2.  Stevie and Alex doing one of the things they love to do!

3. My last day in jail. The bars clanged for the last time. I’m sure South Central Regional Jail hasn’t been the same since. The fabulosity has left the building. (And you thought that whole ‘inmates’ thing was just a catchy title!)

4.  My very own McDaddyDreamy. Just before Stevie’s birth in 2002.

5. For those of you who miss this gal. This was the original “From Inmates To Playdates” Princess. She’s all grown up now!

6. This next one is a bit quirky. I’m a quirky gal who worked with inmates, so… the fact that I visited the OJ crime scene while visiting family in California just weeks after this horrendous crime should not surprise you. This was the front gate to Nicole Brown Simpson’s place in Brentwood, California.

7. My favorite ride showing off in Chili Pepper Red. The sexy, sleek Saturn Sky.

8. My sweet Stevie – Halloween, 2007 (I think!)

9. This picture was taken before I underwent (is that a word?) Lasik surgery.

Either this computer or photobucket is running v-e-r-y-s-l-o-w…. this is very frustrating! I just logged out of Internet Explorer and clicked on Mozilla Firefox. I’ll see if that helps.

10. This is a picture of some of my favorite people. Meet the McInlaws. McDaddy, me, his siblings and their spouses. The 2 girls beside of me are his sisters and the two fellas on the far right are his brothers. This family makes me happy!

11. I think this next picture is precious! Stevie was the ring bearer in McDaddy’s brother’s wedding. He was a cutie!

12. My sweet boys!

13. And last but not least. Here’s me and McDaddy circa 1993 in Hawaii. Please go easy on the bangs and the glasses.

That’s a wrap.

A very slow wrap, but a wrap none-the-less.

Thanks for stopping by Inmates!

I’ve been attempting to write this post for the past twenty minutes.

I’d really like to curl up in my bed and just go to sleep. Unfortunately though, I am booked tomorrow and if I don’t write my “Things I Learned This Week” post right now, it probably won’t get translated from my head to my fingertips until sometime late tomorrow evening.

So, I’ll do the best I can to dish out this dose of crazy before calling it a night.

This week, I learned some great stuff and since I usually keep notes throughout the week on my beloved iPhone, I’ll give them to you in the order which they were recorded in my “notes” folder.

1. A trip to the Emergency Room on a Tuesday night for suspected flu (and maybe of the swine variety) will cost you about six hours and most of your sanity.

2. The jokers at Apple need to seriously consider designing a battery for the iPhone that will outlast a six-hour wait in the Emergency Room.

3. At a birthday party where thirteen kids are in attendance, there is a pretty good chance that at least one of them is carrying swine flu germs.

4. Toradol, when shot directly in the hind-end via a big, stinkin’ needle can put the smack-down on a big honkin’ headache in mere minutes.

5. When the fund-raising folks dangle a hummer limousine ride to the Arches over the heads of young children, mamas will buy five tubs of the stuff do some strange things.

6. Sadly, no matter how hard I try, I can’t please everybody.

7. It is possible to poke yourself in the eye with a toothbrush while brushing your teeth.

Weird, but certainly true.

8. Things are rarely as bad as they seem in my head.

9.  Sasha Obama has her own library book. I was surprised to see the words ‘dissed’ and ‘chilled’ within its pages.

10.  Apparently #119is my lucky number. Especially when entering a bloggy contest with 137 other bloggers. Woo Hoo!

That’s it for this week folks. What about you? Feel like sharing something you’ve learned with the rest of us? Come on, spread the crazy love.

And then, head over to Musings Of A Housewife for some more crazy!